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In the backwaters of Louisiana, the place to eat was at Kalper's Kitchen, where unique and delicious fare could be found. Good food was prepared by the man, Kalper himself. He was always the force blowing full bore around his kitchen, letting no one and nothing get in his way. |
Not an easy person to approach, his manic brilliance gave new definitions to Southern fried catfish and smoked ribs. AND all who knew Kalper also understood to stay out of Kalper's kitchen during these hours of inspired creation.
Sadly, a short new sous chef, Whittier, was ignorant, and stumbled into the kitchen whereupon Kalper promptly skewered Whittier with his newest blade, a nine-inch Miyabi Birchwood.
A squelched scream gurgled. Hearing the thud, Kalper's three brothers,rushed in to grab Whittier by his Nike sneakers, and drag him to the freezer.
One muttered, “Damn! That’s the fourth one this month."
They tossed Whittier onto the heap of Alvin, Sanders, and Simon. “Damn shame.”
The italicized underline letters are from Wednesday Words. This collection is from River, Drifting through Life, posted back in 2015. We had some excellent BBQ two days ago, and this came up in my brain.
Your brain takes you on some dark paths - and I am always happy to follow you.
ReplyDeleteSometimes the events in a backwater/hollers are too true to be believed.
DeleteTwisted but fun!
ReplyDeleteTwisted and tweaked are always fun.
DeleteIt's a wonder no one's come looking for them.
ReplyDeleteKalper's is in the swamps of Louisiana. The wildlife will eat fine when the 4 go out to the River.
DeleteI think a short visit to your psychiatrist is soon to be in order. Imma 'fraid I will skip Kalper's Kitchen. Thinking maybe I's be eating some Alvin, Sanders et al. Just sayin'.
ReplyDeleteBut it is fun, but...... you might be certifiable.
Stay safe, be sweet and TRY TO BE GOOD!
Love from NC with no wind.
Sherry & jack
I have been told that before, after a peculiarly tilted story.
DeleteWild story. I like it.
ReplyDeleteI also like barbecue. Despite the resolution of the story, I am now hungry.
I hear you. Tomorrow is early dinner special BBQ feast locally. We will be there.
DeleteDepending on what part of Louisiana, and what time period, indeed, they could have disappeared without a trace.
ReplyDeleteFor the most part, 'gators do not prefer to eat us, but the crabs have no such compunction.
There are several places around the world I don't want to visit. Any place with 'gators is on that list.
DeleteI guess we all know now where Kalper gets his ribs from, heh heh.
ReplyDeleteI'd be a vegetarian, I think.
DeleteSomeone needs to guard the door to keep folks out at Kalpeer's critical moments.
ReplyDeleteYou'd think one of the brothers could have figure it out.
DeleteAlvin, Sanders, Simon, and Whittier. Sound more like attorneys than sous chefs...
ReplyDeleteWho knows? They may have failed sous chef school.
DeleteYour stories always take me by surprise and make me smile even though this was a bit scary! Although when I'm cooking I don't like a crowd in my kitchen either. I wouldn't go that far since clean up would take too much time! (I worked in surgery for 49yrs so I know that!) But those ribs do have me thinking I need some BBQ!
ReplyDeleteThe underlined words require to get worked in somehow. That makes for interesting combinations. Glad you enjoyed it!
DeleteSusan, I just love this!!!
ReplyDelete