
Old Man and Old Woman had driven on Interstate 55 many
times, too many to mention. This time
they were driving from Beaumont, Texas, the day after Christmas. Christmas in
Beaumont with Golden Boy, their youngest son, had been painful and
disappointing for too many reasons to count.
Old Woman strongly suggested they stop and get some
food. Old Man said he was just fine, and
she could wait a while. Old Woman replied
in no uncertain language that they had better stop or there’d be pee all over
Old Man’s precious car.
Passing by Sikeston, Missouri, a sign announced “Home of
the Throwed Roll”, and this would suit them both just fine, since they weren’t
talking with each other at this time.
Old Man parked his precious car, and Old
Woman got out even before the engine stopped running. By the time Old Man had opened his door and
slammed it, Old Woman was inside and sitting at a table, menu and coffee in hand.
Lambert's Home of the Throwed Roll was unusually quiet this day right after
Christmas which suited Old Man just fine with his failing hearing. Old Woman could have done with some laughing
and people around, since she enjoyed visiting with people on next table over or
behind.
A chirpy little waitress named Patty took their order of
ham and beans for Old Man, and turkey with stuffing for Old Woman. Old Man canceled his order and instead asked
for meatloaf, after Old Woman announced that she wasn’t going to ride with
someone who had just eaten beans.
Plates delivered and Patty asked if they would like some
rolls. Why, yes, Old Woman nodded. Patty called to Norman Lambert, owner of the restaurant, for rolls and
Patty moved out of the way. You’d better
get ready, she whispered as Norman launched the first roll to Old Woman, who had
excellent reflexes.
The soft-ball sized roll hit her hand with a WHAP, just
like being caught in a ball mitt. Then Old Man caught his roll, barely
containing it. Patty set a bowl of smooth
butter and a jar of molasses on their table, asking if they’d like to put some
on their roll.
Why, yes, Old Man nodded.
Patty wiped her hands on her apron, and then burrowed her index finger into
each roll. Then Patty slathered a
sizable amount of butter in the well, followed by thin line of molasses easing
out from about a foot above.
Old Man and Old Woman gasped and then laughed, finally
making eye contact. Three rolls later they were back on the I-55, heading home,
talking to each other like old couples do.
Throwed Rolls has probably saved a marriage.
This is a re-post from 2019 and 2022. Since that time this has been a story told to the family. Dad always elaborated the story somewhat, and Mom always corrected the incorrect details.