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Mary and Martha |
16 October 1998
Dear Martha,
Your letter pulled me from a pit of despair. If ever there were awards for "Surviving a Plethora of Childhood Illnesses", I would be inducted into the Hall of Frantic Mother Fame.
The triplets have developed a chain of cursed plagues: Influenza, chicken pox (vaccine, right?), strep throat, ear infections, and worms (really?). Each had one different sickness at a time. Clarisse had chicken pox, while the boys had ear infections. Then the train kept rolling through the house.
Is this God's thunderbolt of retribution for swearing during Mass?Loudly swearing at Clarisse-the-She-Devil? I mean, she fully deserved it. No one, cute or not, should crawl under the pews singing a beer commercial.
As you know, my house was never a museum, but now a City Inspector could cover the house with "Condemned" yellow tape. One time, someone taped a "Quarantine" notice on my door. It was misspelled. Probably it was that bitchy blonde next door who has no children. I have lit many candles at church, praying for her fertility.
Must go. Alex-the-Spontaneous is vomiting on the cat. Christopher-the-Wild is smearing vomit on the bathroom mirror. Thank you, Lord, that it is not diarrhea. So far, so good.
I do not know what is next on the roster, but I suspect diarrhea will finally land on and all over our house. Or maybe I will be vomiting on the carpet. Could be both.
Your sister,
Mary-the-Desperate
P.S. Help me, dear Lord, please oh please. Help me.
I followed a blog written by a mother with a 4 yr. old preschooler, and then triplets. I think of her now and then, since her blog is inactive. In fact, when I see a mom with twins along with a few other young siblings, I pray for her and them. Date above is random. Names come from another blog I have now inactive "Chronicles of Samuel".
This post has been unearthed from six years ago. Completely rewrote it. Still kept the triplets and swearing during mass thing. And, of course, vomiting. One has to insert vomiting whenever possible.
Oh, and this post went up accidently a few days before for May 27. My bad. Hadn't quite finished it.