I will be kind…I will smile…were Brenda’s thoughts, as she sat in the family
pew, hands folded in her lap, back straight, and eyes focused on Pastor Ben. No one
will know my thoughts. No one will
suspect what I am thinking.
On her left side, her
father was ‘amening’ almost in a rhythm, and Brenda had to force her feet from
tapping 1…2…3 and hold…1…2… Her grandmother was waving her hankie in a
show of agreement.
Show? Brenda pondered that word, looking around at
other old ladies with their gray hair and dressy hats. They too were waving their hankies, and some
even dabbed at their eyes.
All the other young
people were sitting in the back, passing notes, and giggling. Their heads were bowed, but Brenda knew
what they were doing. The young families were in the middle of the church, with their children. Brenda could smell the Cheerios and Fruit Loops.
On Brenda’s ride
side, her mother sat, quietly folding and unfolding the church bulletin. Fold...2...3.. Her mother's hands were red and worn; she had to prepare another dinner for the pastor and family. Every Sunday, it was dinner for someone.
Her mother smiled at her, and briefly made eye contact.
That was when Brenda
knew. Her mother wanted to blast out of
this church just as badly as Brenda. To escape.
What’ll we do? Mom, what will we
do?
Her mother wrote a
note to her father, which read about checking on the roast and get dinner ready
for the pastor, and Brenda had to help. Her father nodded, not breaking rhythm one
bit.
They tore out of the
parking lot. As they drove past their
house, Brenda turned to her mother. Mom?
Mom?
Her mother smiled,
lit up a cigarette, and sped up. “We’re
goin’ to Vegas, girl. I am done fixing dinners every single Sunday for every preacher passing through town.” Then they headed to the West, the
whole 1,000 mile trip.