Kids Say the Darndest Things

Children are the most interesting of all humans.  They seldom edit what they are thinking, so the words in their heads come out their mouths.  This makes for the craziest, most forthright  conversations one can ever experience.

Art Linkletter (okay, I am getting old) had a television program called “Kids say the most darndest things”.  Mr. Linkletter interviewed a panel of six or so small children, ranging from ages 3 to whatever.  His simple questions led children to give the most amazing answers.

In later years, Bill Cosby continued the show with equal success.  The children were always the stars, while the adult hosts tried to rein in their desires to burst out in laughter.

When I was a young mother, I either didn’t have the time or didn’t realize how truly amazing the things that my own children said.  Now as a grandmother of first and third graders, I bite my lips or cover my mouth to keep from laughing when the kids say things like this:

I’m gonna get an Ipod for Christmas. 

                                                         Mommy lets us do this…

Mommy lets us use the computer. 

You just have to unlock Daddy’s office,

and type in the password.

                                                          When I’m 16, Daddy’ll give me a Mustang.

I don’t have homework tonight.

Mommy says we can do video games before homework.

Mommy said we can eat the rest

of the birthday cake for snacks.

                                                          Daddy lets us go into the garage.

Mommy says I can jump on the couch.

                                                          Mommy lets us call our friends on the phone.

Mommy says I can use her eyeshadow.

These are too good, but I know that these are not uncommon. 

What things have you heard children say that make you laugh?  What have they tried to sneak past their parents?

Open what? Doors? What does that mean?

Once upon a time on a farm in a rural area, a young girl gazed out her window at the stars and wished each night.  “Oh, please Blue Fairy/Fairy Godmother/Tinker Bell/Santa Claus/…., grant my wish!”

The wish was never the same wish, but it was said with the same fervor each and every night.  This messed up the whole fairy tale and wishes coming true thing; no wishes were ever granted.

I know.  It sucks when wishes don’t come true.

But WAIT!  What did you say?  My wish did come true! 

I submitted a fractured fairy tale about Cinderella (short story—2000 words) and it was accepted!  The Open Doors Anthology: Fractured Fairy Tales was released on December 3^rd!  My story is in there: Cinder, Ellie: An Exclusive as told to Bob Grimm. 

Elisa Stilton worked with Wayman Publishing for the collection, editing, doing whatever is necessary to publish both an eBook and a paperback! 

From December 2 – 4, 2012, this book and other books by a group of incredibly talented writers will be at a reduced rate (check the site out) or free as eBooks.  A portion of the proceeds will go to benefit a children’s hospital. 

This is a book you would want to read, share with friends and relatives.  It turns those Disney fairy tales on their heads.

Open Doors Anthology: Fractured Fairy Tales

Fairy tales...what's NOT to like?  Every culture on earth has a variety of myths, legends, and their own variety of fairy tales.  Good vs. Bad...Hero rescuing helpless princess...bad animals with sharp teeth trying to eat good (kinda good) people and animals....


Yes, these are common themes throughout the world.

Wayman Publishing with Elisa has undertaken the production of Fractured Fairy Tales, or fairy tales viewed in a different way.  The Book Fair opens Dec. 2 - 4, and offers great deals on this book as well as other books produced by contributing writers.

My own story-- Cinder, Ellie: An Exclusive as told to Bob Grimm -- will be in this marvelous anthology.  It is really good, I think.  You will have to read it for yourself.

Here is the site to which you can go and order an obscene number of books at great prices!  A portion of the proceeds earned by the sale of Open Doors Anthology: Fractured Fairy Tales will benefit a children's hospital, among other places (I think).  The last anthology was to support diabetes.

So go there, and buy, and then enjoy!  Susan Kane