Children have a sense of humor.

 The best comedians in the world are small and sweet, without an agenda.

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 We weren't going to fly anywhere this summer, but if this guy....

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Kids Say the Darndest Things!

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The TV shows in the 50s and 60s were a world apart from today's shows. Back then, Red Skelton was enjoyed by the whole family. Gunsmoke was watched almost without fail. Candid Camera made us all laugh.

Today's selections are different.

The one show from that time period listed above was truly funny, hosted by Art Linkletter. Those kids did say some stuff that still makes me smile.

How are you going to be a better boy during the next year?
Obey everyone in my family, except my Aunt Freda.
Why not her?
'Cause she just causes trouble and starts fights.
How old is she?
Eight

So, your dad is a minister. So was mine. Is he a good minister?
He must be a pretty smooth talker.
Why?
Because on Sundays almost everyone falls asleep, but me and Mom.
Doesn't that make him angry?
Not nearly as much as the collections. He gets two offerings and the trouble is the congregation is cheap and most of them put in pennies.
What did your Dad do then?
Well, he had me collect the money and not leave until a person gave some money. He said not to smile or say anything.  So, I did anyway. (Big smile)

What does your mom do?
She's a Sunday School teacher.
What does she do for fun?
She plays poker and drinks beer.

Okay, maybe those aren't the funniest of all time. But the children were any age from four to six. A newer version of the show was hosted by Bill Cosby.

Think back to those years, back when our lives were viewed through a screen of humor and a degree of naivete. What shows did you most enjoy?

Quarentine Memes

What does "Meme" really mean?

There are some bloggers are amazing at finding and then posting some crazy, funny, sometimes a little raunchy memes.  But ALWAYS funny and unique. (William Kendall at Speak of the Devil has talent for these).  Well, I am not that creative. Quarantine opens the floodgates of creative memes. That is all there is to it.

50 best quarantine memes

more of the same

Good spatial training

She is the next super model.

Dexter was an interesting TV show.

I feel your pain.

You are not worthy.

In searching for memes that reflected my peculiar and tilted character, I was sucked into the Google World of Memes. This is a third hour and I am taking a break. Everyone needs wine now and then, but mostly now.

Christmas: What Really Happened.

We love you, baby Jesus.

Nothing is no more honest and forthright than a child's view of Christmas. Forget about Santa Claus--they nailed Rudolph with the red nose and the Grinch, having seen displayed Christmas with toys, trees, and stockings since August.

But, what do children know about Christmas, aside from the commercial presentations?  

Well, they know a lot and can tell all in their own simple words.

YouTube has great kid views of Christmas.

We just need to listen.

Post-Apocalyptic Information as seen by my son

Finding another box to unpack has become routine in this house; then there is a moment of discovery and/or disappointment.  With big sighs or sadness, the box is either unpacked or closed up to be pitched out.  When will  this stop, I ask.  When. Will. This. Stop?

“Ah-Ah.”

This was one of the many strange boxes, hidden in garage rafters, where dust and mites had settled.  Movers followed blind orders and brought this one to here. On the lid were words written in our son’s peculiar handwriting, with his peculiar humor.

“If Zombies or commies or red Chinese attack or Christmas 2013: Break the seals and open.  Open and prepare your body for Thunderdome (That is probably the new law).”

I did open the lid, but all the warnings did not come to fruition. Written upside down (for the unfortunate opener) were directions:

(on one side) “These are for laundry, toruniquets, and needless hangings” with an arrow pointing down.

(next side) “Done cleaning? Make your broom do double duty to kill zombies.” Arrow pointing down.

(Last side) “ Instrumental video”

Strangely, contents of the box were missing only the broom, but included two binoculars.  But it did include some awesome knives, which were apparently a present for his father that Christmas.  The method of presentation was clever. 

Our son has grown on to a successful life and career, but has maintained his peculiar sense of humor.

John (5), Mary (3), Erin (9) in 1984

If I find more photos, I will flood the zone called "Oh, how precious they were and are now!"

Kids Say the Darndest Things

Children are the most interesting of all humans.  They seldom edit what they are thinking, so the words in their heads come out their mouths.  This makes for the craziest, most forthright  conversations one can ever experience.

Art Linkletter (okay, I am getting old) had a television program called “Kids say the most darndest things”.  Mr. Linkletter interviewed a panel of six or so small children, ranging from ages 3 to whatever.  His simple questions led children to give the most amazing answers.

In later years, Bill Cosby continued the show with equal success.  The children were always the stars, while the adult hosts tried to rein in their desires to burst out in laughter.

When I was a young mother, I either didn’t have the time or didn’t realize how truly amazing the things that my own children said.  Now as a grandmother of first and third graders, I bite my lips or cover my mouth to keep from laughing when the kids say things like this:

I’m gonna get an Ipod for Christmas. 

                                                         Mommy lets us do this…

Mommy lets us use the computer. 

You just have to unlock Daddy’s office,

and type in the password.

                                                          When I’m 16, Daddy’ll give me a Mustang.

I don’t have homework tonight.

Mommy says we can do video games before homework.

Mommy said we can eat the rest

of the birthday cake for snacks.

                                                          Daddy lets us go into the garage.

Mommy says I can jump on the couch.

                                                          Mommy lets us call our friends on the phone.

Mommy says I can use her eyeshadow.

These are too good, but I know that these are not uncommon. 

What things have you heard children say that make you laugh?  What have they tried to sneak past their parents?

F is for...

F is for….well, it was hard to limit my thoughts on this one.  I am using the ‘shotgun’ affect, so please bear with me.

What a legend!

Roberta Flack is the voice of the early days of our marriage.  She is an amazing artist with so much credential in her life.  She studied classical piano at the age of 15, and was accepted into Howard University.  She changed her studies from piano to voice.  Ms. Flack graduated from the university as age 19.  She went onto be the first African-American student teacher in an all-white school near Chevy Chase, MD.

Ms. Roberta Flack has sung all genres of music, but I remember her best for her first big break into music when Clint Eastwood chose her music to be played in “Play ‘Misty’ for Me”.  Then she won awards for “First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” in 1972.  Her next big song was “Killing Me softly with His Song” in 1973.  Amazing person, talented artist is Roberta Flack.  That is why F is for ‘Flack’.

He was really handsome, and witty.

Now, a complete leap of whatever, F is for a character on the M*A*S*H series, Colonel Flagg, played by actor Edward Winter.  Col. Flagg was the original GI Joe of the CIA back in the time period of the Korean War.  Mr. Winter nailed the persona perfectly with all the swagger, steely-eyed stare, awesome good-looks, and lingo of his character.  Flagg could take a bullet, dig it out with his own GI Joe-type knife, and sew it up—all without a grimace or a word.  Flagg liked to leave without being noticed, and assumed all sorts of disguises.  I loved that character, because he was such a contrast to Alan Alda’s ‘Hawkeye’.  Colonel Flagg was an awesome foil, from whom many humorous situations developed.  That is why F is for ‘Flagg’.

These two people both represent a time in my life when I was just discovering adulthood, as a young married woman.  Roberta Flack was singing all about love.  Col. Flagg represented the turmoil that surrounded my generation and the War (Korean or Vietnam). 

Again, thanks, Arlee Bird and his awesome crew!  His URL is:

http://tossingitout.blogspot.com