 |
| Potluck dinner in some church, some where. |
A moratorium now outlawed church potlucks in Old Walderren. The last one caused a flash fire when the Barbeque Pit exploded, sending miscellaneous pork bits and ribs, along with Bob’s Secret Ingredient (lots of whiskey) flaming sauce, flying over to Ol' Miz Guthrie’s tiny old house.
Ol' Miz Guthrie heard screaming coming her way, and then smelled the barbeque fire on her roof. “Oh, Lordy, Lordy! My house ‘s afire!” As fast as a squirrel on a live wire, she scampered out the door, wringing her hands while the fire department extinguished the barbeque flickers of flame.
No damage done, Ol' Miz Guthrie thanked everyone, shushing them away, and hurried back inside. Looking around at her immaculate, nicely decorated home, she raced down the steps to her basement, which was packed with a fireproof chest of jewelry (oh, how she love nice expensive jewelry), and packs of one-hundred bills.
Unbeknownst to the community, Ol' Miz Guthrie was quite a spendthrift made possible by her late husband’s last bank robbery in 1955 in Chicago. I gotta out of this town.
The next day her brother Ralf showed up at night with a big van and they moved everything from the basement during the big school dance. Just before she closed the front door, Old Miz Guthrie turned the old gas cooker on high, and tossed a burning dish towel through the door.
The town mourned for her. Damned BBQ sauce.
This is a repost from March 2015, Wednesday Words. Oh, Lordy, they are fun.
That was funny! Who knew she had stolen goods in her basement? Love the description of the BBQ explosion.
ReplyDeleteI don't know how often this might happen. But it probably has.
DeleteBank robber, nice touch. I was sorry to hear of Ms Guthrie, Wondering if she went to Vegas too? LOL I probably knew the sweet lady, I did know her son Goofy Guthrie in school.
ReplyDeleteGood one.
Sherry & jack
Goofy Guthrie? I bet he was a character.
DeleteToo funny! And I'm glad to see that this was written in 2015 and not now because I was about to call the covid-19 social distance police
ReplyDeleteYikes! There were no masks way back then.
DeleteYou are so clever and you have a marvelously macabre sense of humor. This is one of my favorite stories.
ReplyDeleteI have to fight my truly macabre side.
DeleteSmiling. And yes W4W is a delightful meme. I am endlessly grateful to Delores.
ReplyDeleteMany thanks go to Delores! What a clever lady.
DeleteThis was a clever post, Susan. At first, I thought you were going to talk about why we have to socially distance and wear masks. It was a hoot to read about the ban robber's spendthrift wife. STILL laughing.
ReplyDeleteGoing to a potluck sounds pretty good about now.
DeleteGood one! One never wants to underestimate a wily senior citizen.
ReplyDeleteBeing old gives one a perspective.
DeleteI'm not sure why she needed to flee. What were the chances of someone coming looking? But I suppose it was time to move on.
ReplyDeleteThe burning roof instigated the fleeing. Gotta run while the fire burns.
DeleteFirst laugh I've had all day! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteGlad it could entertain.
DeleteLOL, and I thought it was going to be about social distancing and masks. Funny story!
ReplyDeleteEveryone needs to be surprised and have a giggle. A bit of escapism.
DeleteWho knew bbq sauce could cause such a string of events?! :)
ReplyDeleteIndeed, who knew?
DeleteThe town mourned, that's funny.
ReplyDeleteI thought that was a good conclusion.
DeleteMourned the sauce or the whiskey?
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
I'd mourn for both, but they must be separated. Whiskey is fine just by itself; my brother agrees. He is the whiskey drinker. I am a white wine woman myself.
DeleteYou never know what someone has in their basement. :) Fun story!
ReplyDeleteThose old houses have amazing decrepit basements. I have been in some, and they can be crammed full.
DeleteI thought she was going to scamper spryly up onto her roof, to harvest some BBQ pork and ribs for supper! I suppose you can tell what's on people's minds by the direction your story takes them...
ReplyDeleteI can take them almost anywhere.
ReplyDeleteoh i felt for her
ReplyDeletebbq exploding sounds scary to me ,very scary
i am so afraid of things that can explode so i never bought a pressure cooker
this was interesting read dear Susan :)
My mother had and used a lot a pressure cooker. But, I am like you.
DeletePriceless! Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI hope it makes your wkend even better.
DeleteThe guilty flee even when no one pursues. What an awful way to live life.
ReplyDeleteOl' Miz Guthrie had her treasure for over 60 years, spending bits here and there. She felt secure in a little town, until there was a BBQ. Where could she go?
DeleteA priceless story...really made me smile!😊
ReplyDeleteIt does seem the guilty always manage to escape, doesn't it?! Lol xxx
Anyone who looked at her would not suspect a thing.
Delete