I do! I do!

All photos via Bing.Com

It is the season of the brides coming up.  June traditionally became the month for weddings centuries ago when life revolved around agriculture.  Spring planting was done; it would be hay mowing time in a few weeks.  Also, any bride who soon found herself with child in July or August wouldn’t give birth until April or May, which gave the newborn infant the best weather for surviving the newborn stage.  Also, I think there may have been some druid connection, but that is pure speculation on my part.

Oh, to be young and in love!

In fact, my niece Sarah is getting married in a week.  The wedding will be on the beach just south of Santa Barbara, and it will be beautiful, because they are in love, and they are both beautiful people.  We are looking forward to the wedding, seeing our relatives, dancing on the beach, and watching the carousing of the young adults.  Our carousing days ended a while ago, and we will head back to the hotel for free HBO. 

Should I be asked (and I doubt I will), I have some excellent advice for the couple.  This is year #39 for us, and boy have we learned a lot in those 39 years.  So, for brides or young married couples everywhere, here is some worthy advice:

This was to good to pass up.

1.  The behaviors you found most entertaining, amusing, and attractive when you first met will soon become the most irritating.  In fact, as the years go by, and those ‘cute things’ don’t change as you think they should, you will start snapping at him/her about those ‘behaviors/habits’.

2.  Basically, both spouses are innately slobs.  Yes, yes, you are.  You were allowed to be that way by your mother who enabled you by picking up for you OR you became that way when you were living on your own.  Get over yourselves, and discuss your expectations.  What is acceptable?  What is not?  Hint:  Taking off your socks and flapping them around in the living room is really the height of disgusting.  Don’t do it.

Even Kate has to deal with it.

She is someone's mother.

3.  No one’s mother is allowed to come by without at least an hour’s notice.  A whole hour, not ten minutes.  Showing up is forbidden.  No, don’t let them guilt you into allowing them to break this rule.  Yes, they will have to deal with it.

We all need a shoulder to cry on.

  4.The best shoulder to cry on is that of your spouse, not your best friend or your parents.  What you and your beloved share is between you two, and you two only.  No one needs to know about the crappy stuff that happens, and no one should ever have that information to spread around.  It gets to be like manure:  the more that gets spread around, the more it stinks. There is a proviso here:  If any spouse discovers that the other spouse is abusive, controlling, or manipulative, get help!  Seek professional intervention, and inform your family of your needs.  No one has to put up with this in a marriage, ever. 

It is what is.

5.  What you really want to have at the end of your life is to hold the hands of the person who wears your wedding ring.  Those are the hands that held you, helped you, loved you, and walked through life with you.   Hopefully, both of your hands will be old, age-spotted, and gnarly.  And you, the bride, should be wearing one big hunkin’ diamond.

Whether you agree with me, well, that is up for debate.  If you want more advice, you know where to find me.  I’ll be here.