.Grandma with a Grandmother's Garden quilt This is not an easy pattern!
Wilma Kindling stabbed at the new
quilt she was making for her grand-niece Jessica. Wilma was steaming as muttered with each
stitch.
“This is her eighth
child in nine years! What does that jerk Jimmy think…” she grew silent
as she quilted. Jessica was having
babies at a frenetic pace and
Wilma simply had put an end to this.
Wilma was momentarily
stunned as a cunning plot
came to her. The solution was clearly visible. “Jimmy needs to have a vasectomy!” It would not be
difficult to arrange. Not difficult at
all.
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| Source: julos |
Wilma and her
friendly veterinarian Dr. Fred met every Thursday night for some wine,
cheese, and wild sex. He hated Jimmy
as much as she did, as Jimmy always showed up every Thursday night just as the
wine was being polished off.
Dr. Fred could bring
some anesthesia and supplies he uses to neuter pets, only they would give Jimmy the “Ol’ Snip
Snip”* instead.
Wilma would help with
the stitching (she was good at that) and be clapping after the
surgery was complete. She and Dr. Fred
would then drive the drugged Jimmy home and drop him off at his doorstep.
Such a simple plan!
Wilma was eager for Thursday. She
picked up the phone to call Dr. Fred.
*My
farmer father called the human sterilization process "the ol'
snip-snip". Removing animal testicles was simply called castration.
Just so you know.
Many thanks to Delores who created the Wednesday Words back in 2010? I don't know if I posted this back in 2015....
Many thanks to Delores who created the Wednesday Words back in 2010? I don't know if I posted this back in 2015....
I mean, Jimmy really should have taken care of that himself. 8 children?!? 'Round about 3 he should have made that plan.
ReplyDeleteIn the 60s, many men (WW2 vets) were hustled into the dr. and had a vasectomy. I was one of 5 children, and it was time for this to stop.
DeleteWhile I don't recommend doing it to an unwilling patient, I can see why they'd want to.
ReplyDeleteAs an OB/Gyn, Grandpa spoke to many a husband who came in with his wife to ask about "getting her tubes tied, we don't want any more kids." He always told them it was major abdominal surgery with many risks, as with any surgery, and it is. He'd then try to talk them into a vasectomy, so much easier, a minor outpatient procedure, no need to put the wife in the hospital for several days.
Of course, many did, but many argued as they felt their manhood was in danger from it!
Men....
DeleteI wonder if there is anyone who doesn't know what the "old snip snip" means? Poor Jimmy is going to be vey confused when he wakes up with pain and swelling, but I bet his long-suffering wife will be happier.
ReplyDeleteI do wonder why she didn't take contraceptive measures to keep herself safe?
My oldest brother had the snip-snip when his sons were in their teens. He can home and decided to help fix the roof. Later on they wheeled him out from ER with a pile of ice on his groin.
DeleteI have no idea what the ol snip snip involves, but I vote for it. ha ha and not the me
ReplyDeletethe snip snip involves more than the Vet can handle, I think. but we'll never know.
DeleteThis is one hilarious story, Susan! Yes, I knew right away what the ol' snip snip meant. Blessings!
ReplyDeleteI guess every female has heard that term.
DeleteDiabolical. That was a plan indeed.
ReplyDeletewell, I have wondered how it would go. Castration would be much easier.
DeleteThanks for the link to 'A Grandmother's Quilt Goes Home For Thanksgiving' ... and for your story.
ReplyDeleteAll the best Jan
I have made quilts for grand kids and family. I drew the line at 8. The last two had to inherit their siblings' quilts.
DeleteI am always in awe of how you weave such great stories with so many words that normally wouldn't be seen together. Congrats on another!
ReplyDeleteWords are my fun writing. I look at the list of words, choose one that can be an anchor for a story, and go from there.
DeleteOh my gosh, I love this :)
ReplyDelete