Never ever irritate or offend a goose

There must a universal crazy goose theme to merit a bronze statuette.

This is a crazy goose story.  Apparently there are many of these stories around the world, which scares me a little.  Geese are universally crazy.

My brother Don was driving the tractor from one field down the road to our house.  As he passed Neighbor Jim’s field, he saw a drama developing.  Turning off the tractor, Don watched.

Holiday Ranch

The field was spotted with grazing cows and a bull.  This bull was quite full of himself, with all those breeding cows.

Also in the field was a Canadian goose, injured with a shotgun pellet in its wing.  Not a serious injury, it could still fly across the field, but not all the way to South America.  At least for a few weeks when another “V” of geese flew overhead, crazy goose found shelter with the herd.

One thing about geese is that they eat grain, corn, and its relatives in any form they find it.  Cow patties are full of partially digesting grains, so the crazy goose followed the cows around and happily filled up on what was literally left behind.

 The bull was offended.  He chased the goose away from his cows, strutting in triumph.  This happened again and again.  Crazy goose clearly had to do something.

As the bull grazed, crazy goose waddled up behind the bull.  Going between the hind legs, crazy goose positioned itself beneath the bull’s reason for living: the testicles.  With a well-placed nip, crazy goose hit those testicles with great accuracy.

The bull bellowed, reared and jumped, while crazy goose flew to the end of the field.

Gaining his composure, the bull settled down.  Crazy goose moved in for another strike.  This went on for a good thirty minutes. 

After numerous successful hits, crazy goose ventured up to a warm cow patty, finding some corn right on top.  The bull snorted and moved a good distance away from crazy goose.

An acceptable peace had been reached.  My brother Don started up the tractor and chuckled all the way home.

Just for interest....

This is a re-post from March 12, 2012.  This was posted again in 2015 and 2024. Just saw crazy videos of geese all over the world and they inspired me to put this up again. Don't mess with geese, don't make eye contact, and be prepared to run.

 

 

Gary Larson: a Unique Perspective

 

 

Gary Larson is a brilliant, unusual cartoonist. No Beetle Bailey, Blondie, Dennis the Menace. Those came from previous decades and did not seem to come to the modern ages. And that was where Gary Larson flourished.

Larson enjoyed creating cartoons that captured the most unlikely characters. He enjoyed drawing about a variety of strange people and COWS!  There are the usual cows, in the fields or just hanging around. Or, are they?     

 

Gary Larson loves Western themes. This particular wild west exists in his mind and lacks lots of violence. Dogs are always  bordering on insane. Hunters are doomed by any animal around. Wild games' goals are survival and take revenge. 

 When one discovers an artist like Gary Larson, head on to his site and then appreciate this talented man. In this crazy time, he is the one to put it all into his peculiar and a bit crazy focus.

If you would like a view into the man, go to the sites below. You will not regret it.

Brief history of Gary Larson  Gary Larson, cartoonist

 

Wanted: actors who are....

Grandpa's nose

Lines and lines of commercials pass across the screen of our television in a never ending stream, most of them telling me to buy this brand of laxative, buy this type of adult diapers, buy this car, and it never stops. But this is not the purpose of this post.

No, I am wondering about auditions casting calls, and what are the requirements regarding the actor.

Needed:

a male, ages 40ish, six ft., 180-190 lbs.,  rugged face, mean with furrowed brow, dark eyes, a few scars, black/dark hair, mercenary image, a tattoo or more, not bad looking, knows how to use a gun, possibly sociopath tendencies.  

maybe a few more males of same; facial hair, balding, body builder, unattractive, spits, toothpick in mouth

a female, 40ish, medium height, dumpy female body type, unattractive, hooked nose,  fine mousy hair, drives a 1992 or 1999 Toyota Corolla, wears Alfred Dunner, unpleasant nasal voice, sings off-key, willing to look like her mother.

maybe another female, who may look much the same.

Renter's Insurance

a male, mid-teens, thin/scrawny, 5' 8", 110 lbs., acne, greasy-needs-a-haircut, wears a nerdy plaid shirt un-tucked, broken fingernails, black rimmed glasses, awkward, slouches and doesn't make eye contact.

maybe a few more males like this. About the same description.

a female, mid-teens, snotty and obnoxious, chews gum, trendy clothes, nice legs, big earrings, blonde streaked, Fire Blaze lipstick, slouches with crossed arms, says "...like" and "...no big deal" a lot, must be good at rolling eyes.

maybe a few more females of same type, but with Honey Pink lipstick and Licking Lavender lipstick, purple or blue streaked hair, rainbow stripes knee-length socks or Steve Madden Troopa Combat Boots.

Whatever agent who can fulfill these requirements must have a large client list. 

I do not fit in any requirements. Dang.

Geico, message chairs

GEICO has the best commercials.