memeguy.come
Fine Dining Here! Make a reservation.
The
maître’ de (the high school French teacher Mr. Wilder who was
half-French) escorted Dillard to his table, handing him a menu. Pour voux, Mr. Wilder bowed and gracefully withdrew to another table.
Dillard examined the menu, Man, I am gonna eat fine tonight: A “Splendid Gastronomic Feast"! He read the header at the top of the parchment paper.
His
first obstacle came when he examined the entrees, all written in
French. The half-French Mr. Wilder returned and solicitously awaited.
Dillard, filled with anxiety, merely pointed to the fourth entrée,
“Bœuf Fumé en Tranches Fines sur Pain Grille en Sauce Blanche”.**
“Bon choix”, Mr. Wilder nodded, handing him a wine list.
Dang! I am out of my league here! But, he thought red wine would be just fine and indicated the last one on the short list:
“Ferme du Aubaine”.***
Before
returning to the kitchen, Mr. Wilder snapped the white linen napkin and
tossed it on Dillard’s lap. This was a bit of a surprise, as Dillard
usually tucked it under his chin. Must be a French thing…
The
half-French Mr. Wilder returned with the bottle of wine and presented
it to Dillard, who felt confident here, having watched “Murder, She
Wrote” one hundred times and had seen how this was handled.
Dillard
nodded, and Mr. Wilder opened the screw top bottle, and poured a bit
into the wine glass. Dillard stuck his nose in a bit too far, but
recovered by sipping carefully.
Dillard again nodded abruptly as Mr. Wilder (who was half-French) poured the wine, then departed to the kitchen.
Mr. Wilder returned with a gleaming cloche (aluminum
dome cover used to keep food warm) and removed it with a flourish,
setting the steaming entree in one elegant move before Dillard.
Dillard exclaimed approvingly. Not one to dither about, he savored the first bite.
Chipped beef on toasted white bread in white gravy** was an unexpected pleasure, Just like Ma made…
He swilled the red wine, a fine choice and noted that it was his favorite, Boone’s Farm, not a high stuck-up wine.
He swilled the red wine, a fine choice and noted that it was his favorite, Boone’s Farm, not a high stuck-up wine.
***translation: Bargain wine from a farm
***** Rear End of a Bull
Jim, you sure missed a treat tonight! And Dillard dug in, while Mr. Wilder (who was half-French) observed appreciatively.
Apologies for: 1. Slaughtering the French language---using an on-line dictionary may not have helped; 2. Making fun of anyone unintentionally; 3. Suggesting that Boone's Farm is sub-standard, having enjoyed it many times myself during college years; 4. "Dillard" is the name of department store, not the name of a person, maybe; and, 5. Abusing the name "Mr. Wilder", since I do not know of any Wilder except Gene.
The underlined words come from a Wednesday Words challenge started by Delores, now retired. The baton was passed on to other bloggers. First posted in 2018. Some commenters were here before, and I hope you won't mind reading it again.
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| Wine to beat all Wines |

That menu cracks me up!
ReplyDeletemakes me want to order from that menu.
DeleteVery clever, Susan, and I, too, liked the menu meme at the beginning. Blessings!
ReplyDeleteglad you enjoyed it.
DeleteThis was a pleasant light-hearted tale. I really enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteit was fun to write.
DeleteMe 'n Dillard should stick to the Big Mac! LOL Smiling at the story...
ReplyDeletesmiling is a great response.
DeletePuts me in mind of the commercial out now of the guy whose AI assistant booked him outside in the rain in a French restaurant.
ReplyDeleteGood commercial. Note to self: no French cafes'
DeleteEverything sounds better in French ;)
ReplyDeleteAlmost any words sound great in French. Swearing would be interesting.
DeleteHow nice that his guesses resulted in things he actually liked!
ReplyDeleteLucky for him. I wonder if all the menu was simplified for simple people like Dillard.
DeleteThat was quite creative. At least he liked what he ordered.
ReplyDeleteThe picture of the menu is also quite funny.
The chef chose wisely, probably called Dillard's mom.
DeleteAh, the happy college memories of sipping Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill wine on the banks of the Charles River. Love that dirty water.
ReplyDeleteI recall drinking it in the honor dorm off campus. Good times.
DeleteI do like that menu.
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
Which one would you order? I am going for the shredded BBQ pork.
DeleteI don't know and I don't care ... Ummm ... I'd try the lot.
DeleteGod bless.
Funny menu that eliminates table fights with your kids and I am enjoying memories of Boone's farm. Nowaways, I'd probably find it too sweet but I had to look to see if it still exists - and it does! Alana ramblinwitham.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteQuestion: did you buy a bottle?
DeleteHeeheehee! Thank you, I needed that.
ReplyDeleteglad you got a giggle from this!!
DeleteBrilliant and very funny 😂
ReplyDeleteThe menus are not easy to handle by many
Thanks for smiles dear Susan ♥️
I hate menus, as they have become so elaborate. Hard to follow.
Delete