Things learned from apocalyptic/monster/alien invasion movies:
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| Wikipedia, God bless 'em |
New York always gets destroyed.
Monsters stomp down
skyscrapers.
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| /Source |
People get out of
their cars and stare up at the monsters.
They always wait until the monster is almost upon them.
People in the
monster movies continue working in the offices, oblivious to the monsters
plowing through.
If New York is
being destroyed, then London and Paris are next.
Giant monsters
must cast shadows in real life. In
movies, they do not.
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| Yay for Wikipedia |
Tarantulas are blind
and deaf. They are sensitive to vibrations.
Female
stars used to be cast on their ability to scream loudly and look
good wet. They usually trip just when it appears they will get away.
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| Source |
Sharks cannot
jump 35,000 feet to grab an airliner.
Tornadoes form over
land. Hurricanes form over the ocean.
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| Source |
People should not run down a road to get away from monsters.
The most
famous actors: one will be the hero
and the other will be the villain.
Empty
warehouses are used repeatedly, with shots from different angles.
If the movie
always shoots in broad daylight, that is a good indication that the movie is
low-budget.
Casts of
10-20 also tell that the movie is low budget.
The script is limited
to single sentences per actor, now and then. The hero always
makes the sacrifice but somehow survives.
Can you think of some truly awful monster movies? What are they? Why are they so awful?
How were
these things learned? Since NetFlix, my
husband has access to the worst monster movies imaginable. Yes, he saw “Sharknado”.
Oh my, it sounds like you are having a monstrous summer.
ReplyDeleteGood one! Yes, monsters have been part of my married life. I should have had a clue when there was a Japanese monster marathon in our early marriage, and we stayed up allll night.
DeleteI'm glad you researched this (and sounds like a great job) so now I won't have to. LOL
ReplyDeleteThere are an obscene number of bad monster movies out there. Don't get me started on the anaconda movies!
DeleteEww to Sharknado and yeah STUPID that they sit and look until they absolutely have to run or get squashed
ReplyDeleteSounds like you have seen a few of these yourself!
DeleteWith no reply comment blogger...I can't answer when you stop by to visit. I reply to comments.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your visits.
Fun post.
Hmmmm...I always comment on your blog. I wonder why it doesn't come up.
DeleteSo if you don't move, or breathe, hahaa, you've got a good chance in a tarantula movie. :)
ReplyDeleteThe monster movies I like are a little (lot) along the chicken side...like Monster Mash. I don't do scary, cuz to me it's really scare, lol
Understood. I don't do evil scary movies.
DeleteNever got that stare thing, many bad ones make that godzilla movie look great
ReplyDeleteSo true. My husband has a movie poster of Godzilla in his man cave.
DeleteHehe. That was a fun post. Some monster movies are so bad, they're good!
ReplyDeleteI started to watch a movie about anacondas, staring David Hasselhof and John Ryhs-Davies. I gave it about 3 minutes.
DeleteI don't watch monster movies so thanks for looking into this for me lol.
ReplyDeleteGlad I could take the hit for you, Delores.
DeleteEmpty warehouse and broad daylight - I knew you had to be referring to Sharknado!
ReplyDeleteMonsters will also leap out from the least likely place possible.
Police forces in all major cities have a special monster squad. Point man stands in the middle of the street and fires off 3 shots from a small revolver. Tanks, jets and missiles hold back until he is squashed.
ReplyDeleteIt seems to be a testosterone thing. My smaller portion hired the Texas Chain-Saw Massacre and Grizzly as an antidote to Christmas schmaltz. At the moment he has a weakness for chopsticks up the nose kung-fu movies. NOT a shared passion.
ReplyDeleteWonderful comments, Susan! I try to avoid these films, books, like the plague. :0)
ReplyDeleteI don't recall any monster movies except King Kong and I always hoped he'd get away and find his way home.
ReplyDeleteLove it! This is hilarious and so, so true!!
ReplyDeleteHey Susan,
ReplyDeleteOh my, got me thinking. Now that's a scary monster thought in itself. Actually, may I mention my favourite monster movie. "Bambi Meets Godzilla!" A classic movie. A short movie, but a classic, nonetheless.
Goodbye at four in the morning. Yikes! :)
This was fun! It's hard to believe the silly movies that terrified me as a child.
ReplyDeleteJulie