“There’s a storm comin’! I tell you a storm!” Pastor Grimley yelled, pounding the pulpit. “ARE YOU READY?”
The congregation shouted Amen, Praise the Lord…waking Emily from her nap on the pew. Mama was standing, being one of the Amen group.
Emily rolled and then planted her chubby little feet on the maple floor. The walking thing was still iffy, but she had the crawl-ing down. Distance to the pulpit wasn’t far at all, and at a fast crawl, Emily could cover it before Mama noticed.
And, off she took, under pews, between legs, around feet, past purses. Oh, Emily knew she was fearless, and this would be another time she found freedom, with her white diaper bottom wagging behind.
“Can you make a joyous noise to the Lord??” Pastor roared. Cue the organist, who joined in with a chorus from different hymns.
Emily reached the pulpit and pulled herself up, pounding on the cross.
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“Root out sin! Let joy rise as a fragrance to the Lord!” He raised his arms, pointing to heaven.
Emily plopped down on her bottom, onto a loaded and ripe diaper. You betcha! Emily clapped and cooed as Mama came running.
Thank you, Elephant's Child for provided the bold underlined italicized words! She tosses 6 to 12 words out at writers to take up a challenge in their writing each week.
Thank you, Elephant's Child for provided the bold underlined italicized words! She tosses 6 to 12 words out at writers to take up a challenge in their writing each week.
Go to her site and check comments, take up the challenge.
This is a 2014 posting. I am culling through previous posts. Some of them are good, some are mediocre, and the others will never see the light of day.
Side note: Have you ever enjoyed such a church service? We never had any pulpit vandalism, but had the "amen and praise God" congregants.
Go Emily go!
ReplyDeleteI wonder what happens when she starts walking.
DeleteHa Ha! That woulda broke up the congregation!
ReplyDeleteOh, I am sure!
DeleteI love how Emily ended this story in her own pungent way.
ReplyDeleteEmily was a girl on a mission.
DeleteHaving crawled under a FEW pews and noticed all the chewing gum stuck there, I can relate. LOL Lie your wit...
ReplyDeleteSherry & jack
Time will tell about crawlers.....
Oh, the chewing gum. It was all over. Some pews were also crusty with boogers.
DeleteHe-heh-hee
ReplyDeleteI bet you have seen some fast baby movers in church.
DeleteMama needs to watch Emily a bit better ;)
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely
DeleteCute! I've never been to a fire and brimstone service but it could be entertaining!
ReplyDeleteI have been in one, and it lasted for 2 hours.
DeleteI'm not a churchgoer, none of us are, but I love the mental image of the baby crawling through and under to get to the front.
ReplyDeleteOh, it is a great image, too.
DeleteHa ha :)
ReplyDeleteAll the best Jan
Glad to put a giggle in your day.
DeleteWe've had a few aisle crawlers in the churches i've attended, and it always brings a smile.
ReplyDeleteWhen he was about 2, we were at church. He had achieved potty training. When it was mid-sermon, he stepped out into the aisle, started pulling down his pants. I grabbed and ran. He did indeed have to pee. Good memories.
DeleteThe boy mentioned here was our son who had to pee. My husband was fine.
DeleteDear Susan, so glad you used the prompts of "Elephant's Child." Sue is one of my favorite bloggers! And with your usual tongue-in-cheek wit and delight in the foibles of us all--from crawlers to those, like me, who are now using walkers--you have made smile--broadly. I'm wondering if you are working--still?--on a family memoir. I remember some of your writing about your family and it always intrigues me. It seems to me that you come from an intrepid lot! Peace.
ReplyDeleteIt is great to see your name, Dee!
DeleteI am still writing on my short story work. I do not have the attention span to write a full-on book.