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| Never regret being kind |
Anniversaries of personal tragedy are the hardest days for me. The first year or the fifteenth year anniversary—time does not change the depth of grieving for the death of someone beloved.
It does not matter what day this grief hits me.
The anniversary day or any day, any year, remembering hits me.
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| This is Bill when he was in high school with his horse, Sonny |
December 12, 1999 was the day my youngest brother Bill died, at age 44. It was 11:30 at night, Sunday night. His fiancée had phoned from Louisiana that afternoon at 2 PM to tell me that Bill was very ill and would be going into surgery to correct problems from a surgery done earlier that week.
Very serious. Septicemia. Doctor says….
The rest of the day was spent in pacing around the house, calling the nurses’ station, pacing some more. Until 11:30 that night.
On December 12, 2009, I sat, watching my granddaughters play. The youngest, four year-old Sunshine noticed how quiet I was and how sad my face seemed. She climbed up on my lap and asked in her little sweet voice if I was sick.
I told her about my brother and how he had “gone to heaven” ten years ago. Sunshine listened solemnly and nodded. She knew about heaven since their dog Shelby had recently gone there, too.
“Well then, Grandma. I’ll hold you 'til you feel better.” Then she settled into my arms, laid her head upon my shoulder, and soaked love into my very being.
I have never been given such a kind gift like this before, or since.
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| Who is cuddling whom? |
Lucky mommy with 5 yr. old daughter!
This is a repost from 2009. It is 2020, eleven years ago. Sunshine is now 14+, taller than I am. I could sit on her lap, but instead she curls up to me. I am blessed.
There is some serendipity at play here.
ReplyDeleteThe first thing I read this morning was an interview with Jan Morris who, among other things, said that if you have any doubts about a policy examine it for kindness.
Then I read a blog about kindness.
Which is an often forgotten essential in my eyes.
I am so very grateful that your granddaughter was able to give you this precious gift.
Serendipity is the perfect word. I'll have someone or thing in my mind, and suddenly we both connect.
DeleteMemories such as this are so very precious.
ReplyDeleteThey truly are. On my FB site I share these memories as well.
DeleteSo sorry to hear about your brother. Loss can be so hard to take. I just lost a close childhood friend. People say that this is all a part of life. This is true, but that does not make it any easier.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry about this passing.
DeleteMy condolences...and again every time you remember that day. 🌸
ReplyDeleteThank you. Sometimes I find myself saying Oh, Bill.
DeleteIt really is never easy, even years later. Hugs from all of us.
ReplyDeleteWhenever I discover photos of those I love, I smile at memories we shared, and their love.
DeleteGrief knows no time. Glad she was there for you in that moment.
ReplyDeleteShe is tender and sweet!
DeleteKindness is a cup that does not empty.
ReplyDeleteWell said.
DeleteJust sitting here thinking, HOW STINKING SWEET THAT IS! The love and the cuddling. Yes, those times to return.It is sweet, the 'wrapping with kindness!'
ReplyDeleteLove from here.
Sherry & jack
No matter how old our granddaughters (Sunshine and Bright Eyes) grow, that tenderness still is strong.
DeleteGrief can be hidden but it really never goes away. What a wonderful and healing moment you had with your granddaughter. I often wonder if kindness and empathy are part of who a person is or is it something learned. It is probably some of both. You were blessed with Sunshine.
ReplyDeleteSunshine has always had that spark. Sister Bright Eyes comforts in other ways.
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ReplyDeleteGrief can last a lifetime, but I have found it lessens with time. You were given a precious gift of love indeed.
Before Bill died, an older brother died from a brain tumor. He was 46, and we knew he would die. Bill's death caught us all. You're right, grief loses the intensity after the first few years, but lingers.
DeleteI must be missing that gene, or perhaps it's just that my family were never close. I don't miss either of my parents and never knew grandparents. On their death anniversaries, I remember, but don't feel sad.
ReplyDeleteI don't know about genes but I think the connections people have with family. My hometown area was populated in the 1820s. Their families are intermixed. Many never left that area. That might be the difference.
DeleteOh how I love your grandchild. She is a beautiful person with a loving heart and a kind soul. She knew just what to say and do. Cherish eachother.
ReplyDeleteShe is still that way, God bless her!
DeleteOh, those silent anniversaries of the heart! I'm so taken with your g'daughter's display of love. Sunshine sounds a bit like an empath.
ReplyDeleteI believe so.
DeleteWhat a beautiful, kind spirit your granddaughter has, as i would expect.
ReplyDeleteSunshine is exactly that.
DeleteHi Susan - what a delightful post to read ... albeit about such a desperately sad event. Your granddaughter sounds delightful - and wonderful you have that relationship with her ... memories for her - take care - all the best - Hilary
ReplyDeleteSunshine and sister Bright Eyes fill us with joy.
DeleteIt's hard to remember days when our loved ones have passed.
ReplyDeleteFor me, with a strong memory, I can see it all.
DeleteOh Susan, you are so very right. Those days come around -- an anniversary like this or a birthday or wedding or whatever -- and they hit the heart like a sledgehammer, no matter how long and how hard we think we have grieved. This post is beautiful. I love the photos and thinking of you with my heart.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jeanie. This is so precious.
DeleteA precious moment and memory.
ReplyDeleteIt surely is.
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