Discovering new Hobbies

 

In the 1950s in rural areas, my hobbies were limited to whatever was on hand. Mom and my two grandmothers quilted and sewed. I discovered writing and how much I loved it.  And, with a pencil and paper, I found out that I was pretty good at sketching.

Now, after being married for 3/4 of our time together, we have developed new, different hobbies.  Stay with me, here!

We have taken up cursing. Nothing vulgar, mind you. Just some pretty common swear words.

First biggie, is damn or dammit. Standard swearing, I know, but there you have it.

Second is one that my saintly mom yelled out when something goes wrong.  That would is, of course, shit or crap. While this is offensive, the farm wreaked of it and it was called "shit".  

   YouTube: George Carlin and his list of 7 awful words that

should or cannot be said on TV. I would not

ever say the obvious bad one, but he did

hit some of our words. This is about 5 min. long. Beginning

is funny.

Third is ass.  Now, it is seen as a common word in most ways. But in the George Carlin world, he uses his voice and mimics how the word could be used, unwisely.

Fourth is bitch, with the understanding is this in not referring to a female dog.  It is pretty common in the teen insults.

Fifth is its relative, bastard.  I have long called my brothers "bastards" for good reason. They were cruel to me in many ways. So I will use that word proudly.

Sixth is whore. When I was in 5th grade, a boy told me to look it up. I looked up "hoar" which is not particularly bad.

Seventh could be piss off. We don't use this one yet. Time will tell.

Oh, there are more, but we are staying away from them.  If you would like to be educated, go to this site: 35 words to avoid saying

We have not advanced or sunk down to Carlin's level, and will not.  But the words are available if we descend into a pit of depravity.

Stupid Things I Have Done: #348

photo courtesy of Bing.com; sky courtesy of God

Yesterday I found myself lying by the pool under a cerulean sky.  The sun had not reached its apogee, and the air still had that early morning feel.  The concrete’s warmth seeped into me slowly, toasting all the parts of my body that ached.  Soon the sun would creep over the roof of our house, and I would spend the rest of the day doing—doing what, I wondered.

Not my pool...someone else has it.

I trailed my left hand through the coolness of the pool’s water, wishing I had thought to put on a suit and go swimming.  Instead I was lying on my back and thinking one particular thought.

‘What the hell just happened!!’

I do not swear, even under the most extreme circumstances, and then only when I am alone.  At that moment, I was in too much agony to summon up more than some sincere moans.

Accidents usually happen quickly, like the strike of a rattlesnake.  This one was a true slow sprawl, but one that I could not veer away from or avoid.

The events leading up to this were so uninteresting: the pool needed water, and I went outside to turn on the spigot.  Then I noticed that the strainer basket had some stray leaves that needed to be emptied.  I knelt down on both knees and reached into the strainer, pulled out the leaves.  This is when everything “…went to hell in a hand basket…”, as my father-in-law used to say. 

Note: bruising down the palm!

When I moved to stand up, I forgot that my right ankle was kinda broken, and that it wouldn’t support me.  “OH, NO!” was all I could say as I sprawled gracelessly forward.  My right knee came down the two inches to the concrete, then the right side of my ribs, and finally my right hand.

Note: bulge below little finger

After I hit, I rolled onto my back, groaning in utter pain and in total frustration. 

That was when I noticed the sky.

Author’s note:  Ribs are okay, just bruised.  X-ray of right hand doesn’t show any broken bones that Dr. can see.  Just have a severe sprain, and OH-BOY-HOWDY, that hurts like nobody’s business.