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| Source: Church Picnic |
Tension
in the church was high, after the two failed engagement attempts
involving Florence and Winthrop. One side of the aisle believed
Winthrop should just drop theatrics and give her the damn ring. The
other side of the aisle believed that Winthrop was correct in wanting
Florence to have a special engagement day.
After
the boating incident, Winthrop was unsure that Florence would accept
him or his ring. After a few tentative meetings, Florence assured Win
that her love for him was even greater. They mutually agreed that the
engagement should take place at the coming church picnic.
After
church, all the congregants headed out to the church’s lawn, where
picnic tables were already laden with every casserole, Jello salad,
fried chicken, potato salad, and dessert famous in the church ladies’
repertoire. Beneath the towering trees, Brother Henry spoke the grace,
and people dived in with plates and forks.
Winthrop
and Florence nervously hung back, unable to eat. They had decided to
wait until people had wolfed down the last stewed chicken and egg
noodles, cleaned out the pies, and were leaning back in lawn chairs to
digest the feast.
Nervously
and casually, they walked to a clearing near the pie section. Winthrop
spoke loudly. “Oh, Florence! I have loved you since first grade!
Would you do me the honor of….”
As
Winthrop spoke of his love, the back row of chairs was thrown aside. A
group of congregants ran back to the church, all of them clutching their
ample stomachs.
Florence
glowed as she gazed into Win’s eyes. “Oh, Winthrop! I, too, have
loved you since first grade. Yes! Yes! I will marry…”
Another
group of congregants tossed aside their lawn chairs. They ran with
great haste to the church, but some made side stops to vomit in the
church hydrangea bushes.
Unaware
of the chaos of food poisoning, Winthrop placed the diamond ring on
Florence’s finger. Kissing each other passionately, Win and Flo stood
alone in a sea of abandoned lawn chairs and playing children.
At last!
Our last camping trip was with our church. It included a potluck which had all sorts of possibilities. I brought some salad. I had a migraine that was growing in strength. We went to bed in our cozy sleeping bags and struggled to sleep while the site next to us was singing Christian hymns. As I cursed, I heard the voices abruptly stopped. John ran to one of the porta potties available. He came back and said, "We're getting outta here." There was a "run" on the potties as people had to throw up and/or had diarrhea.. The potties were full, full to the top full.
We left the tent and stuff, leaving until the morning. It was an hour drive home, but a wise choice. Apparently, nearly every camper who had eaten the delicious chicken stew (Her specialty) was in the line for the potties, or were out in the bushes.
We haven't gone camping since then. Just lost the joy of camping in that one night.
This was a post from 2012, shortly after our camping adventure.
