Let the words from my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my strength and my redeemer. Psalms 19: 13
My father had developed dementia. He had always been strange throughout his fatherhood, but it was developing into a real dive.
I lived 2800 miles from them, came home every 2 or 3 months but I didn't how much it had progressed.
When I came home one time, Dad was unpredictable. He told us that we wouldn't inherit any thing. If we wanted to obtain them, Dad said that we would have to come to the auction and bid on them like everyone else. Yup.
I saw many other elements of dementia in my visit, and could see how worn out Mom was.
I didn't return to visit until Dad was in his bed, with hospice visiting daily. NO ONE of the hospice provided any in home assistance. My frail mother bathed, changed bedding and diapers all on her own. When I called Mom, she was tearful and relieved when I said I would be there the next day.
Nothing else I want to say. Dementia took everything away from him, and Mom. And dementia took Dad from us.
I think it is one of the cruelest of all illnesses. It takes away the person we knew and leaves a shell behind. A shell which often requires a great deal of care.
ReplyDeleteI am shocked that Hospice visited but no help was given or even offered. It is a very sad disease.
ReplyDeletethis was in Illinois. Hospice came every day to bathe Dad, and check on his vitals. They stayed about an hour and then left. Not much help there. California has a different method.
DeleteLet us hope a cure is found in the not too distant future.
ReplyDeleteResearch is constantly looking for a cure. One was an injection every month, but it could cause a brain bleed or a stroke.
DeleteI'm so sorry, Susan. It's a wretched disease that crushes families in so many ways, physical and emotional. It is simply cruel.
ReplyDeleteHe died in 2005, mom in 2011. I think about them every day.
DeleteI agree, it is a thief but unlike a thief that strikes and leaves this horrid disease lingers and lingers stealing more and more and more. Daddy ended up in a memory unit for the last 8 months of his life and had good care, but people at work, thought something was wrong with me when they called me at work and said he had died in his sleep at 3 pm. I celebrated for him and i thanked God for answering the prayer I prayed to him to remove daddy from his misery on this earth.
ReplyDeleteCaring for a person who fails each day is difficult, to say the least. In fact, it is horrible.
DeleteMy father developed Alzheimer's, so this was so difficult to read, Susan. I think it is one of the hardest things to bear when someone we love loses his or her ability to think, recall memories, or even speak to us. A thief, indeed. Blessings!
ReplyDeleteIt is one of the diseases that obliterates the memories, recognition of family member. Sorry that this was part of your life.
DeleteI am sorry. Dementia is an insidious condition. Not only does the person who has dementia suffer all those who care about them suffer too.
ReplyDeleteExactly. My son in law buried his father last month. He was in a care facility close by, and was failing rapidly. It is such a harsh death.
DeleteI am so sorry!
ReplyDeletetoo many diagnoses of dementia occur every day.
DeleteParkinsons has its own dementia problems. Luckily my son is living with us now and it's a big help to have another person at home.
ReplyDeleteParkinson disease is frightening.
DeleteLet us pray for a cure and healings.
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
Yes, a cure would be answer to prayer.
DeleteMy heart is with you. Words can't do it.
ReplyDeleteLosing a parent is hard, losing a parent to Alheimer's and Dementia is indescribable. They leave you while they still live..
DeleteI'm so sorry this happened to your parents. It's awful.
ReplyDeleteIt was. I still think about that.
DeleteThis is so sad and one of my biggest fears as my husband and I grow older. My brother had a terrible accident that resulted in a brain injury years ago. He recovered and then he started showing signs of dementia and died less than 2 years from the diagnosis. He was 71.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry about your brother. Your brother went through so much.
DeleteI'm so very sorry. I went through this with my grandmother.
ReplyDeleteI know that she loved you and hated to go.
DeleteFelt strong sense of sadness while reading it dear Susan!
ReplyDeleteI fully agree with first comment,it is cruelest of all illnesses.
Sorry for the pain and despair it gave your family and you!!!
Hugs
It is always good to see your name. I enjoy your posts and your family is precious. The sense of loss and "if only" is always in my mind.
DeleteI am so sorry Susan This is a terrible and cruel disease. I always thought hospice was there to be hands on and aid the caregiver. This is very disappointing to learn.
ReplyDeleteThis was in Illinois, farming community. Here in California, such assistance might be available, but not full time.
DeleteLook at your blog friends I see I might have seen your name on their blogs. No matter.
ReplyDeleteGosh dementia is a NASTY disease, and it doesn't help with what you had going on in the beginning of your life.
Your mom was a saint.
sandie
Mom was a saint. She was an incredible woman.
DeleteI'm so sorry for your loss Susan and for the cruel heartache this disease is for so many. It's one of my fears as Jack and I grow older. My father passed young (56) but I watched my Uncle go through this and how hard my Aunt worked as she cared for him at home until he passed. One of our good friends was just diagnosed with dementia and so far drug therapy is working but you can see the change it has in him. Hugs to you Susan and prayers that maybe some day a cure will be found.
ReplyDeletethank you for sharing your family's struggles with dementia. Living in a community where ages range from 60+, this is common. Sadly.
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