I have discovered a great site for me, for I am empress of sassiness. Anyway, the following paragraphs are from that Sassy Senior FB site:
I
found this timely, because today I was in a shoe store that sells only
shoes, nothing else. A young girl with a tattoo and green hair walked
over to me and asked, "What brings you in today? I looked at her and
said, "I'm interested in buying a refrigerator." She didn't quite know
how to respond, had that deer in the headlights look.
I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.
When people see a cat's litter box they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" I just say, "No, it's for company!"
Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency. I think you should write, "An ambulance."
The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Have you ever noticed: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he knows when he's really in trouble.
Did you ever notice that when you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs?"
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
Some people try to turn back their "odometers." Not me.
I want people to know why I look this way.
I've traveled a long way and a lot of the roads were not paved.
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up, sags or leaks.
Ah! Being young is beautiful but being old is comfortable.
Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.
May you always have:
From Sassy Senior Society. Good place to check out.
It is serendipitous to happen onto something that is just what you want or need. This was one of those: clever with a fair amount of humor which makes me wish I had written something like it.
Stay well, work in the garden, walk in green woods, and love one another.
I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.
When people see a cat's litter box they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" I just say, "No, it's for company!"
Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency. I think you should write, "An ambulance."
The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Have you ever noticed: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he knows when he's really in trouble.
Did you ever notice that when you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs?"
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
Some people try to turn back their "odometers." Not me.
I want people to know why I look this way.
I've traveled a long way and a lot of the roads were not paved.
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up, sags or leaks.
Ah! Being young is beautiful but being old is comfortable.
Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.
May you always have:
Love to share,
Cash to spare,
Tires with air,
And friends who care.
From Sassy Senior Society. Good place to check out.
It is serendipitous to happen onto something that is just what you want or need. This was one of those: clever with a fair amount of humor which makes me wish I had written something like it.
Stay well, work in the garden, walk in green woods, and love one another.
Like the one about finding something by buy another one. And the kid's middle name. That's when you go hide!
ReplyDeleteIt's a struggle.
DeleteMy family is the kind that would walk into a shoe store and say they want to buy a refrigerator.
ReplyDeleteI imagine that happens more than can be imagined.
DeleteThe janitor at a church where I used to work had the sign in the closet about the arm around the shoulder, and I still think I need that sign.
ReplyDeleteI had a tee that said "Lord, keep your arm around my shoulders, and Your Hand across my mouth."
DeleteHa! Great post. I chuckled, agreed, and nodded. Cheers my friend
ReplyDeleteSo glad it amused a fellow sassy lady.
DeleteYes, aging isn't easy, but if you're sassy enough, it can be fun.
ReplyDeleteBlessings, Susan!
So true. It is fun. It hones my people skills.
Deletethese are all in my lane for sure and I like the ones that are sarcastic best of all.. It infuriates me when someone hears my age and they say age is just a number which means they are not old enough to know that is a big fat lie. will check out the site
ReplyDeleteI want to slug someone who says that.
DeleteI loved this. I am a lot snarkier in my old(er) age than before! A little sass is a fine thing!
ReplyDeleteI think being sassy is highly underrated. I plan to be perpetually sassy.
DeleteUnfortunately (or not?) that first meme is soooo me. I don't know who died and made me the Grammar Police, but I really need to pass on the torch.
ReplyDeleteThe worst grammar slaughter is on media TV.
DeleteOld age ain't for sissies (as Betty Davis said). Maybe some will wince at "ain't" but I like the saying. We may as well laugh. I enjoy snark more and more as I age. It beats the alternative. Alana ramblinwitham.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteMy folks said that nothing is golden about old age.
DeleteThe happiest folks are those who embrace the changes life brings instead of fighting it. Embracing with humor is best of all!
ReplyDeleteNot much you can do, except examine and make wise decisions. And laugh at lot.
DeleteThis will keep me laughing for a while. As far as age I have earned my 77 years.
ReplyDeleteI have earned a hard fought 72 years.
DeleteThose are all so good!
ReplyDeleteI am getting older and older as time passes by, I certainly do not look the same, nonetheless, there is a segment of my brain, that tells me I am young.
Same here. My segment reminds me that it is there.
DeleteThat was great, especially that prayer at the end. He knows I pray something similar often...
ReplyDeleteI have become more faithful in Bible study and praying. There is a sense of peace.
DeleteI love this, thank you for all the smiles you are sending me to bed on.
ReplyDeleteGreat smiles to you!
DeleteThat was so perfect! I wish I had that gift of writing to exactly put out there how I feel and hit the nail on the head! When I was youngish and someone would ask my age I always said 75. They always said, really? You look good. I'm 71 now and so tempted to say I'm 45 but not sure I would want those looks!
ReplyDeleteSo funny! looking younger is always good. Glad you enjoyed that writing. I wish I had thought of those.
Delete