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| source: rgbstock.com |
Deborah answered her
phone and recognized the nurse from the care facility. Your father has died. No surprise…it had been a long
time coming, with a devastating illness that took his mind away..
Deborah flew in from
San Francisco, arriving in time for graveside service where ashes-to-ashes, appointed time of three
score and ten, verses were recited.
Then taps were played, flag was folded by Veteran of the Foreign War
members, and presented to a relative Deborah did not know.
Deborah sat in a
rented car and waited until everyone had done their jobs and disappeared before
she could return to the grave site.
Deborah knelt at her
mother’s grave and wept. How she had
loved her mother…how her mother had loved her.
she pulled away some large bouquets from her father’s grave,
overflowing with blooms. Tenderly, she placed
the flowers at Mom’s grave.
Then Deborah stood at
the new grave, covered with accolades and flowers. She whispered, “I loved you so! I did everything I was
supposed to do. I honored and obeyed
you, I respected and tried to please you. Even when you were old and I was middle years, you still tried to control me, hurt me with your words.
Another pause. “You broke my heart.”
Deborah returned to
the rental car, thinking where she should go next.
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Oh, so sad. Forgiving comes hard for some.
ReplyDeleteForgiveness must happen or the person is scarred permanently.
DeleteSo sad. And a long time to carry that bitterness.
ReplyDeleteToo long...
DeleteSuch sadness here...extending even to after his death...
ReplyDeleteThe strong cord of extension needs to be cut, or else Deborah will never move on.
DeleteNot something that is easy to forgive indeed.
ReplyDeleteForgiveness is something one does daily when hurt so deeply.
DeleteEventually forgiveness happens but we never forget and are eternally damaged.
ReplyDeleteIf only we all had a "delete" button for those memories.
DeleteWhere should she go next? On to a new beginning.
ReplyDeleteDeborah must move onto a fresh start, or she will be locked in this pain forever.
DeleteOh Susan. Powerful, beautiful, painful. This is hurting my heart this morning with its familiarity.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if many readers have this pain in their hearts?
DeleteYou cut right down to the bone.
ReplyDeleteI know, it was painful.
DeleteHave to let go and begin anew
ReplyDeleteBeing stuck in the past is debilitating.
Deletevery sad. An apt ending to this story, but, yes, where will she go next?
ReplyDeleteLee
Tossing It Out
Forward, I hope.
DeleteSo sad when all an adult child remembers is how they were never good enough."you broke my heart"
ReplyDeleteSweet that Deborah put some of the flowers on her mum's grave.
It hurts forever. Deborah must move on, or she will still be in the pain part of her life.
DeleteOne door closes, leaving room for another to open. Still my heart goes out to her.
ReplyDeleteThe questions left unanswered will hang in her mind, I hope she does allow the other door to open.
DeleteControl doesn't come easy when someone lives far away.
ReplyDeleteJust the memories of the control linger.
Delete