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| Under the Porch Light photo prompt |
Seth was relieved to complete the near vertical climb through deserted stretches of trails overlooking Las Vegas. Seth cleaned his dusty spectacles and gazed at blinking lights below.
Ha! And Dave said I
couldn’t do it! Seth smiled as he thought of his brother’s
derision as he loaned his camp gear to novice camper Seth. But his gloat was fleeting as he realized the sun was almost behind distant
mountains, and he had yet to set up camp.
The full moon was moving behind heavy clouds and it would soon be completely dark.
Frantically Seth tried to find a
suitable patch of ground that wasn’t rock hard.
He tumbled down into a trench where the softer ground made hammering
spikes easier. The tent was up in
minutes with the Coleman lantern blazing.
Ha! He said again, as he
dropped trousers to urinate into the dry ground. Indecent of me, but it's camping…
As he dozed off warm and cozy within Dave's tent, he
heard the thunder in the mountains and enjoyed the sound of rain falling upon
the tent.
When the ground rumbled and
shook, Seth leaped outside the tent just in time to see the wall of water and
mud roaring toward him along the gully.
His last thoughts were, ‘Dave is
gonna be really pissed about the tent….’
Please check out of Wednesday Words and Prompts from Delores at Under the Porch Light. Awesome writers participate in this weekly event! You can access her site by clicking on the peaceful stream on the right side bar.
Nuts...talk about bad timing for a camping trip. Great job Susan.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Delores! Camping is serious business, if one wants to live.
DeleteWell, that took the wind out of my sails for the morning. Talk about a cliff hanger. Ain't even any cliff to hang on to. You made an impact with the words.
ReplyDeleteIt might have gone better for Seth if he had...done things differently.
DeleteWell at least dave won't be able to rant at him over the tent
ReplyDeleteNo, the tent will be torn to shreds in the wash.
DeleteJust loved the ending line!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Carole! I like to end with humor.
DeleteWow. Very good. I may not have blinked until the end.
ReplyDeleteThere is something about camping that makes one feel invincible. Glad you enjoyed it.
DeleteWho cares about the people, save the tent!
ReplyDeleteDave would have agreed with you.
DeleteEvery reader of this blog should head on over to Hold Ghost Writer's site.
DeleteHis last ever thoughts? I do hope not.
ReplyDeleteAnother brilliant story - thank you.
Seth processed things slowly, I think. Water moves quickly.
DeleteObviously Seth didn't know all that much about camping. Or at least he didn't know about gullies and flash floods... Poor, stupid Seth.
ReplyDeleteYes, poor Seth--deluded by his stubbornness.
DeleteNicely done, Susan!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Geo.
DeleteA terrific story, and I loved the last line. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThe last line is always important in any flash fiction, as is a flash flood.
DeleteThanks, Susan, have put the poetry book on my website and Amazon, for a few pence, just trying this out. Hope to publish more. Have been silent too long, busy writing prose, and find poetry wonderfully liberating.
ReplyDeleteYes, you have been silent for too long! Hope your poetry book has great success!
DeleteAh, the gullywasher. I hate those :)
ReplyDeleteSneaky little/big devils, aren't they!
DeleteOH, too bad, Seth was so pleased with himself and now this.
ReplyDeleteGreetings human, Susan,
ReplyDeleteI was feeling rather tents after reading your story.
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
And there went Dave's tent!
ReplyDeleteI lived in Arizona for a few years, so I know you have to watch for flash floods, even when it isn't raining around you.
This is really good! I had an idea the gully was not a good place to set up camp, not after seeing the thunderheads obscuring the moon. Flash floods are common in such places aren't they?
ReplyDelete