Thursday, February 23, 2012

Samuel and Sarge

The Throne
 Samuel heard “Sarge” whispered that night.

“We can’t do it.  We tried today, but Samuel is too strong for us!”  The Mommy sobbed. 

Samuel heard The Daddy sigh.  “Sarge. He’ll do it.”

What can’t Nana handle?  Samuel thought.  That woman could handle a charging bull.  Oh…today Nana tried to cut his hair.  The Mommy had a lock hold on him which usually worked. Not today. Heh.  Heh.  That was a fine moment.

The next day, The Daddy drove Samuel to a dingy barber shop far away.  Afternoon was passing into dark when they walked through the door. CLOSED said the sign. 

A scrawny old man stood waiting for them.  Old, but his arms showed muscles and tattoos.  Semper Fi.  Old, but ‘don’t mess with me’.  “This your boy?  Looks like ya.  Well, climb up, kid.  Let’s see what ya got.”

There was a throne.  Entitlement at last.  Finally.  Someone recognizes my true place.  He climbed up, surging with power.

 Sarge moved.  Awfully fast for an old man, Sarge had straps around legs and arms, then a red cape over Samuel. 

“Put yerself over ‘im.  He might pull loose.”  The Daddy launched himself across Samuel’s lap.  Samuel heard a buzzzz, and his eyes widened.

Limbs struggled against the restraints; one leg got free.  Lashing out, it hit The Daddy square in the groin.  Groooooan.  Buzzzz. 

Swinging his head around, his baby teeth clamped down on flesh. Semper Fi.  Grrrr.  Buzzzz.

Kick.  Bite.  Groan.  Grrrr.  Buzzzzzzzzzz.

It was over.  The cape sent hair flying, straps were undone. 

The Daddy hobbled around the shop.  Sarge wiped the blood from his arm and lit a cigar.

Samuel crawled down, leaning over to throw up.  Power is hard on a 2 ½ year old tummy.

He saw his reflection in a mirror.  Samuel rubbed his nearly bald hair.  Tears formed.  Okay, Nana.  You win.



  1. Awwww...poor Samuel. It's the beginning of the end for him. From now on big people will impose their will on him and there is nothing he can do.

  2. well at least he gets his licks in, or should I say kicks? Owww!..haha

  3. Thanks for another Samuel chronicle. I wasn't rooting for him. His resignation is interesting. I expect the revenge will be awful.

  4. Samuel isn't defeated yet! He has to dig deeper and consider his battles carefully!

  5. I love these stories about Samuel--they're lot of fun to read, even if sympathy levels aren't quite so high. LOL.

  6. I knew if I kept trying I would eventually be able to comment. Poor Samuel. It is rare that he is so comprehensively thwarted.

  7. This reminded me of my son' first professional haircut. It is such a traumatic moment, not only for the child, but for the parents also.

  8. Nice to meet you. Good luck with A-Z. I look forward to your posts.

  9. Dealing with children is not for the faint of heart.



  10. I like the point of view :-) The innocence combined with the will to fight back. I wonder if I was like that when I was that age.

    After reading the story, then looking back a the first photo, it makes it look like a torture chair. Great photo, though.

  11. Poor kid! I empathhize with him. Boys shouldn't get their conformist-style haircut until they are 5 or 6. Should I have had a son, his hair would have been long and flowing, a symbol of strength.

  12. Dear Susan,
    I loved this! Thanks for bringing this smile to my face.


  13. Loved Samuel's story! This is why my son didn't get his first hair cut until he was almost four, and way too many people were commenting on how cute "she" is! I was just thinking about his curly blond locks this week.

    Fun story!


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