Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Wilma Kindling

One of the quilts I made for my grandson

Wilma Kindling stabbed at the new quilt she was making for her grand-niece Jessica.  Wilma was steaming as muttered with each stitch.

“This is her eighth child in nine years!  What does that jerk Jimmy think…” she grew silent as she quilted.  Jessica was having babies at a frenetic pace and Wilma simply had put an end to this.

Wilma was momentarily stunned as a cunning plot came to her. The solution was clearly visible.  “Jimmy needs to have a vasectomy!”  It would not be difficult to arrange.  Not difficult at all.


Cheese and wine: Cheese and wine

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Source: julos
Wilma and her friendly veterinarian Dr. Fred met every Thursday night for some wine, cheese, and wild sex.  He hated Jimmy as much as she did, as Jimmy always showed up every Thursday night just as the wine was being polished off.

Dr. Fred could bring some anesthesia and supplies he uses to neuter pets, only they would give Jimmy the “Ol’ Snip Snip”* instead. 

Wilma would help with the stitching (she was good at that) and be clapping after the surgery was complete.  She and Dr. Fred would then drive the drugged Jimmy home and drop him off at his doorstep.


Such a simple plan!  Wilma was eager for Thursday.  She picked up the phone to call Dr. Fred.

*My farmer father called the human sterilization process "the ol' snip-snip".  Removing animal testicles was simply called castration.  Just so you know.

Many thanks to Delores at "Under the Porch Light".  She is the word smith!

16 comments:

  1. That would be funny if I wasn't a guy...

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    1. Sorry, Alex. The whole thing to me as I was thinking about "kindling".

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  2. Another fantastic job. You have a most devious and delightful mind.

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    1. Your words always give me room to play. Not easy room, but fun.

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  3. I love it. And I bet the wild sex was even better that Thursday. Reward for a job well done...

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    1. One would hope that they would arrange for a second night of romping.

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  4. Oh this is very well done. The old snip snip, I remember it being called that and I remember my husband being very firmly against it. I imagine Jimmy might have wondered what the heck happened to him when he woke up to find an icepack between his legs.

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    1. He would not know what happened, but he sure would feel its results.

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  5. LOL the cat would snip snip many humans, they need it

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    1. Yes, I can think of a few men in the news who need to have the snip-snip done.

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  6. The quilt is awesome.

    The plot...very sinister. Let's hope the good Dr. has some good morals and tells her to just keep quilting. ;)

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    1. Who knows? In Wilma's world of fiction, a lot is possible.

      Thanks! I love that quilt--it is so soft. I can see it being dragged around.

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  7. If men got pregnant there'd be all kinds of contraception available! It's just fine for women to get their tubes tied... but men? You'd think we were asking them to become eunuchs!

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    1. Men! They are very protective of their gonads.

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  8. Fantastic. And fun post! Loved it!

    Nas

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    1. Thanks! I try to stir up writing a bit.

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Go ahead...it won' t hurt...I'd love to hear what you think!