Monday, August 5, 2013




Things learned from apocalyptic/monster/alien invasion movies:

Godzilla (1998 Movie Poster).jpg
Wikipedia, God bless 'em
New York always gets destroyed.

Monsters stomp down skyscrapers.
/Source
People get out of their cars and stare up at the monsters.  They always wait until the monster is almost upon them.

People in the monster movies continue working in the offices, oblivious to the monsters plowing through.

If New York is being destroyed, then London and Paris are next.

Giant monsters must cast shadows in real life.  In movies, they do not.

Yay for Wikipedia
Tarantulas are blind and deaf. They are sensitive to vibrations.

Female stars used to be cast on their ability to scream loudly and look good wet. They usually trip just when it appears they will get away.

Source
Sharks cannot jump 35,000 feet to grab an airliner.

Tornadoes form over land.  Hurricanes form over the ocean.

Source
People should not run down a road to get away from monsters.

The most famous actors:  one will be the hero and the other will be the villain.

Empty warehouses are used repeatedly, with shots from different angles.

If the movie always shoots in broad daylight, that is a good indication that the movie is low-budget.

Casts of 10-20 also tell that the movie is low budget.
 
The script is limited to single sentences per actor, now and then.  The hero always makes the sacrifice but somehow survives.

Can you think of some truly awful monster movies?  What are they?  Why are they so awful?


How were these things learned?  Since NetFlix, my husband has access to the worst monster movies imaginable.  Yes, he saw “Sharknado”.


24 comments:

  1. Oh my, it sounds like you are having a monstrous summer.

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    1. Good one! Yes, monsters have been part of my married life. I should have had a clue when there was a Japanese monster marathon in our early marriage, and we stayed up allll night.

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  2. I'm glad you researched this (and sounds like a great job) so now I won't have to. LOL

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    1. There are an obscene number of bad monster movies out there. Don't get me started on the anaconda movies!

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  3. Eww to Sharknado and yeah STUPID that they sit and look until they absolutely have to run or get squashed

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    1. Sounds like you have seen a few of these yourself!

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  4. With no reply comment blogger...I can't answer when you stop by to visit. I reply to comments.

    Thank you for your visits.

    Fun post.

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    1. Hmmmm...I always comment on your blog. I wonder why it doesn't come up.

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  5. So if you don't move, or breathe, hahaa, you've got a good chance in a tarantula movie. :)

    The monster movies I like are a little (lot) along the chicken side...like Monster Mash. I don't do scary, cuz to me it's really scare, lol

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    1. Understood. I don't do evil scary movies.

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  6. Never got that stare thing, many bad ones make that godzilla movie look great

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    1. So true. My husband has a movie poster of Godzilla in his man cave.

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  7. Hehe. That was a fun post. Some monster movies are so bad, they're good!

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    1. I started to watch a movie about anacondas, staring David Hasselhof and John Ryhs-Davies. I gave it about 3 minutes.

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  8. I don't watch monster movies so thanks for looking into this for me lol.

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    1. Glad I could take the hit for you, Delores.

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  9. Empty warehouse and broad daylight - I knew you had to be referring to Sharknado!
    Monsters will also leap out from the least likely place possible.

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  10. Police forces in all major cities have a special monster squad. Point man stands in the middle of the street and fires off 3 shots from a small revolver. Tanks, jets and missiles hold back until he is squashed.

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  11. It seems to be a testosterone thing. My smaller portion hired the Texas Chain-Saw Massacre and Grizzly as an antidote to Christmas schmaltz. At the moment he has a weakness for chopsticks up the nose kung-fu movies. NOT a shared passion.

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  12. Wonderful comments, Susan! I try to avoid these films, books, like the plague. :0)

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  13. I don't recall any monster movies except King Kong and I always hoped he'd get away and find his way home.

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  14. Love it! This is hilarious and so, so true!!

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  15. Hey Susan,

    Oh my, got me thinking. Now that's a scary monster thought in itself. Actually, may I mention my favourite monster movie. "Bambi Meets Godzilla!" A classic movie. A short movie, but a classic, nonetheless.

    Goodbye at four in the morning. Yikes! :)

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  16. This was fun! It's hard to believe the silly movies that terrified me as a child.

    Julie

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Go ahead...it won' t hurt...I'd love to hear what you think!