|My wedding cake did not look this nice!|
How I enjoyed talking with you to celebrate your 60th birthday! Listen, turning sixty is not painful, honey. In fact, it has perks.
You were always sitting at "Little Girl" table, only you did not realize it. That table complains about going to the gym, missing out on desserts for weight issues, etc. Now? Eat the damn dessert, screw going to the gym. The Big Girl table still does yoga on occasion, but eats the creme' brulee.
People will/may ask you for advice about all sorts of problems. The Big Girl can share a wealth of that knowledge beyond the question asked, when they wish you would shut up. Let your accumulation of grouchiness cut loose, and to hell with 'em.
You can go to movies, get the discount (pitiful as it is) and say "Excuse me" walking past lines seemingly without realizing it. Even pass some gas along the way.
And, this is the best one, we smile knowingly at those 40 - 50 year old women who are going through menopause. The Big Girl tells them "It will be over really soon!" knowing good and well, it will seem like forever. WE are in the Big Girl Club and THEY are in the "Misery Knows No Bounds" Club.
Those in the Big Girl Club can ogle young handsome men, even hit on them. Those hunks get embarrassed, but we can freely look at their muscles and tight buttocks, because we are the Big Girl Club. We are their grandmother's age, and they smile at us and we lust back. They won't "hit" on us--they know it, we know it, but we are in the "Big Girl" Club.
My dear one, there are so many joys of turning sixty. Now, turning sixty-five really sucks, but it can't be helped. So, get over yourself.
Smiling for you,
Mom (age 84)