Sunday, September 27, 2020

If you can read the directions, you can thank a teacher.

DSC 3283
I can do this...
The following is some advice that all should follow to make lives easier.

   Read the directions first.

   Follow the directions.

Now this is the hard part.  No matter how many times one has assembled an IKEA product, no one is an expert.  No one can or should open an IKEA box, look at the parts, screws, and that one lonely Allen wrench…and then say, heck, I can do this.  Then toss the directions (unread) aside, to proceed.

   After screwing up the whole process, take the object apart and read the directions this time.  Hopefully, your failure gone unobserved and no one is giggling. Hopefully, no screws are missing. If they have, you are in big trouble, especially if the Allen wrench is gone. Oh, man, this is bad.

Here is another bit of advice:

source
 Set the timer.
  
It does not matter what is being done.  If the directions say: Set the timer for 15 minutes to allow the glue to set.

This is also a hard part, as most assume that surely it was meant to say 45 minutes.  After all you are the adult here. When maybe an hour has passed and the project is finally checked, no profanity should be allowed.  It is your own damn fault.  Call the 1-800 number to see what can be done to un-stick the glue.

      Set the timer.

    If the cake directions say 35 minutes at 350°, then do it.  Do it.  Taking a burnt dry cake, covered with thick icing, to a family function will not disguise this error. This also applies to any cooked project, be it jello or a roast.

    Set the timer or else.   

I   When adding water to the pool, set the timer.  When 45 minutes should do it, and then forgetfully, let it go for an hour and a half, water will flow out onto the concrete, etc.  This, too, cannot be disguised. This also applies to any water-related activity. Water is unforgiving.

     Set the blasted timer, you idiot.  
I
I   If a soccer-playing child is supposed to be picked up at 4 pm, and 5 pm rolls around, that child will catch a ride with some other parent. Most likely this parent didn't like you in the first place. This parent and other parents will think that the aforementioned parent is inept. Embarrassment is inevitable.  The child will also tell his other parent. Nothing ever remains secret. AND this will never be forgotten.

   Read the directions and then make a decision to pay someone to do something for you.  

     Write down important stuff with your hand, paper, and pen.

    Write important stuff on an honest-to-God paper calendar. Smart phones are not always that smart and tend to need re-charging at bad moments. Pin info on the bulletin board, tape on the refrigerator, or write on a whiteboard.

OH, this list could go on and on.  It is suggested that one add to this list on their own, and then

Follow the directions.

If you can all make it through this blog, thank a teacher, yours or someone else's teacher.


P.S. This is a re-post from 2015. It is still applicable, one of those timeless posts.

25 comments:

  1. I do.
    I am the only household resident who does. Jazz is excused, but the other resident?

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  2. Jello needs a timer?
    I have a daughter who glances very briefly at directions then proceeds to set up a new TV, dvd player, computer, whatever and get it all up and running in n o time at all. She puts Ikea stuff together too, but prefers not to.

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  3. I am pretty good at following directions.

    I used to write a lot of things on my hand. But since the advent of smartphones, digital reminders and digital notes have replaced that.

    I tend to cook things for longer then directions say to. I do not bake much though, I think precise timing is more important when doing so.

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  4. Thanking my teachers (and my family) because I can read it. :) I haven't tried to tackle an Ikea project. I have heard they are very challenging, but worth it because they are so inexpensive. We don't have one of their stores close by. I use sticky notes all of the time at work. They are my very best work friends. :)

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    Replies
    1. I used office supplies, bookcases (who can forget Billy), etc. when I was teaching. Also furnished a 6 year old's bdrm.

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  5. Being Swedish, I kind of love the challenge of assembling IKEA furniture has become for the rest of the world. Being Swedish I also know how to follow directions. I'm not at all sure this is a great national trait to have or if it just makes us boring.

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  6. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA you come up with this xxxxx when I am getting ready to do a big job and CANNOT find the directions.
    But I know this was thrown at us men, you see directions are confusing to us.
    But I still love you even if you are a, whatucallit.
    BUT when all is said and done, yep we must thank Ms Grill. She taught in a small mountain school, one of the best teachers that ever lived.
    Oh and thank you, I am sure many kids have.
    Sherry & jack

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  7. LOL! Because I detest instruction manuals with a purple passion, anything requiring assembly goes to Tom. And because I'm of a 'certain age' I rely on Alexa to inform me when 17 -- not 27 -- minutes has elapsed.

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    Replies
    1. The instructions go to husband and I stand over him, reading them aloud. YouTube is great for all sorts of things. Had to reassemble sewing machine bobbin and YouTube walked me through it.

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  8. I have to read the directions because I have no mechanical ability of my own. I had such good teachers all the way through school.

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    Replies
    1. I'm also one who has to read and remember to put something together. It is a left-right problem.

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  9. AND if there are extra parts not numbered in the directions - you did something wrong. No, husband they don't give you extras! :-)

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    Replies
    1. I have crawled along carpets looking for pieces.

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  10. Since I have no idea how something gets put together, I always look for the instructions. But I hope they have pictures, because the words flummox me.

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  11. IKEA should offer a prize to successful clients for reading their instructions.

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  12. Not really sure the last time that any directions I had to 'read' had anything but pictures on them...

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    Replies
    1. The directions are often in four languages, plus drawings.

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  13. I hate flat-packs!!! Gave up on them years ago! lol


    I do follow recipe instructions, if I use a recipe, though...to a degree...sometimes I add some extras to them! :)

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    Replies
    1. Absolutely, recipes need part of your special touch.

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  14. We have only bought one IKEA item that had to be put together. We failed. We only buy their textiles and wine glasses now.

    Timers are good, I just have to remember to set them again for the second batch of cookies.



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    Replies
    1. Their textiles are great. Curtains and linens are sturdy.

      Delete
  15. Yes, read the directions and follow them.

    Do not, the very first time you are ever trying to cover your gray hair, assume that your hair is more stubborn than anyone else's, and ignore the times given and leave the stuff on for 90 minutes, then complain to other people that your wife turned your hair green because she didn't know how to color your hair properly.

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Go ahead...it won' t hurt...I'd love to hear what you think!