Saturday, April 18, 2020

Gravity is not my friend.


11 Wedding Cake Disasters | CHWV
wedding-venues.co.UK

I have nooo idea where I found this. A few years ago, I shrugged it off. Now?



I found a hair there under my chin,
And I yanked that sucker out,
But wouldn't you know, the very  next day,
Two more began to sprout.
I don't know what's happening;
It's a perplexing change of pace,
My arms and legs are going bald,
But I've gotta shave my face.

It's such a rotten travesty;
My tummy once was flat.
But now my hourglass is mostly ass,
And my waist has turned to fat.
My body's slowly sagging,
And I don't look so hot;
If a man wants to ogle my bosom now,
I'm afraid he'll have to squat.

But that's okay, 'cause I'm still here,
Of life I'm still a part.
So what if when I bend or stretch,
I leak a little fart?
I've lots of life and love in store,
Though I'm not young and shiny;
If ya wanta know the truth,
Old age can kiss my heinie.


Image may contain: 1 person, sitting, possible text that says 'I TURNED MY BACK FOR A SECOND AND OLD AGE CREPT UP ON ME FASTER THAN A PAIR OF OLD fb/Fat-Battom-Hines Fibties Get Fierce UNDERWEAR'
FaceBook, American in the 1950s
Hopefully this will not offend those who read this.  While it is aimed straight to females, I am absolutely positive a male can nod with understanding. Perhaps he could write a male version of this?

With all luck, use of this poem will not violate some copyright or what-not.


34 comments:

  1. this poem is perfect for ME. every single line of it is ME.. I love it and also hate it because it is true...

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  2. I read a model say somewhere, I can't remember where, or who it was, but "We don't have to look beautiful forever". I thought how freeing that is if you accept it. Same for men, we don't have to look handsome and fit forever.

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    1. No, we don't! I'd settle for "Being Smart", since that is more important to me.

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  3. Ok, I smiled, because I fed myself into this little equation of verse. No problem, yep with a little change it fits 'Old Dudes' the same.
    I guess I am old, because I remember the scrub board and actually one wooden tub. Boy am I old with a pot belly!!
    Loved the visit.
    THANKS (I think)
    Sherry & jack

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    Replies
    1. I see all sorts of things that say "If you remember ____, then you are old." So far I remember all those things!

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  4. Frankly, not much would need to be changed...

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    1. Sad, isn't it. Men don't think they look older but they are wrong.

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  5. I guess the fact that it is so common makes it laughable.

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    Replies
    1. I now understand why Mom had all those things.

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  6. True here too.
    Gravity can be a total bitch.

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  7. We're still here and life is good. Maybe it could be a bit better right now, our lives, but still, here we are.

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  8. Much of that was true of me in my 20s...

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  9. When I sit down and give gravity a break from tormenting me, technology takes its place.

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  10. After 60, gravity is no one's friend. I noticed recently that I have the beginnings of bags under my eyes. Just the beginnings, but we all know what happens next don't we? Suitcases, trunks and sagging cheeks. my boobs are only high because of the supportive sports bra, which doesn't come off until I go to bed. I really HATE having them swing low and free, getting all sweaty under them.

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    1. My oldest daughter takes bra off the moment she gets home.

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  11. this was fun to read dear Susan ,you are wonderfully talented :)

    i am fifty and where i live it is quite old for a woman so i think myself old enough to share your concerns
    my eldest son once said old age is not " real "it is disease which develop due to our genetic misconception ,if we learn how to slow the process it will be possible to stay healthy (young) for longer
    i was shocked to hear as old and old fashioned lady lol

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    Replies
    1. Let me know when your son gets some grey hair!

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  12. I just turned 50 a couple of months ago so I know this well. Creeping right up and now I'm old. lol

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    1. It was a shocker for me, turning 60. It was like arthritis exploded.

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  13. So true. And the sad thing is there's not much we can do about it! Ah well at least we get wiser with age, right? haha

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    Replies
    1. Can't do anything about aging, except go with it.

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  14. We are still here. Warts and all. And if we can't laugh, we'd cry!

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    1. Crying one thing, but laughing is the best. today I trimmed my hair. Not too bad, also put some "emergency spray" to cover the gray. Heh, heh,

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Go ahead...it won' t hurt...I'd love to hear what you think!