Thursday, March 17, 2011

St. Patrick's Day Blogfest

Saint Patrick's Day: At King David’s Pub and Winery
(Scene opens in Heaven, at the Pub.  Seamus and Patrick are sitting at the bar.  Patrick is asleep, with his head on the bar counter.)
Seamus (St. James):  Say, Paddy, now.  Wake up, you idjit. 
Padraig (St. Patrick)/Paddy:  Ah, Seamus.  Can ye not leave a good saint to a daecent sleep?
Seamus:  It’s yer people there, Paddy.  They’re at it again.  (Leaning over his pint, looking down on the velvet green)
Paddy:  Oh, Mother of God, is it that day already?

Maire (St. Mary):  Paddy, was it ye who called?  Oh.  (She looks down on Dublin.)  So.  Yer Irishmen are at the celebratin’ yer Holy Day.  The day ye up and died down there.
Paddy:  (Looking down) So it ‘tis, Maire.  And would ye look—Chicago has dumped green into ta rivers again!  As if that meant a ting, Lord help us.
The Lord God: (enters with angels singing and clouds billowing)  Was it ye, Paddy, that called m’name?  (Seamus and Paddy vacate their pub stools immediately.)    David, here, be a good man, and pour me a glass of cider.

King David:  Aye, My Lord.  The best Yer Hands ever made, here Ye go.  Have at it. (David pushes the glass over to God, who has settled down on a stool.)
The Lord God:  So, Paddy, what’s troublin’ ye, up here in heaven?
Paddy:  Oh, it’s the Irish people agin.  They’re after celebratin’ my holy day with all sorts of carryin’ ons.  And it bein’ Lent, ‘tis a sad ting ta behold.
The Lord God:  (quaffing a satisfying amount of apple cider) Well, ye know, Paddy,  People ha’ forgotten jest what I did for them, sendin’ ye to Ireland.  They were a terrible mean group, worshippin’ trees and such, ‘fore ye taught ‘em about the Trinity.

Seamus:  Yer right, My Lord.  An’ Paddy drove out them there serpents, and done all them miracles.  Ye did right good work, there.  (Seamus pats Paddy on the shoulder, who nods and perks up a bit.  Maire sits down next to The Lord God.)
The Lord God:    ‘Tis my desire that ye shake the Irish up a wee bit.  Paddy, ye go down to yer holy wells—there’s one down near Clonmel I’m partial to.  Stir the waters up a bit when there’s a group there.  And, Maire, go to some of yer holy grottoes, and send some tears down the cheeks of yer image.  That’ll make the Irish think a bit.  I bet ye’ll see more pious Irish at Mass come Good Friday.

Seamus:  I’ll go along with ‘em, My Lord, jest to keep ‘em company.  (The three saints exit.)
The Lord God:  (watches the saints depart, and laughs softly) Ah, there go some fine saints.  Glad I made ‘em.  (He leaves the pub in a cloud of glory, with angels singing.  David gathers up the glassware, and hums “When the saints go marching in…”  Scene ends.)
If I have offended any, please forgive me.  I lived in Ireland, and have a different perspective.  Thank you, Alexia and Colene!  I loved doing this!


  1. HA! I loved it!! Thanks so much Susan! Happy St Patties Day! You have been counted!!

  2. I think it was clever and fun too!

  3. That is awesome. I had to read it out loud and my two-year-old listened to the whole thing. He thinks I'm cool now LOL! LOVE it :)

  4. I love this! Great blofest entry. :)

  5. Hi Susan

    Big smiles here!! Great fun.

    Happy Padraig's day!


  6. This was lots of fun. Don't apologize, own it. If someone is offended they can let you know or stop following. I make it a point to try to offended at least one reader daily. :)

  7. You made my day! I had to read it outloud too. haha. Great job. LOVE it. :) Makes me want to pull out Frank McCourt on my mp3 player.

  8. Hi, Susan,

    Very fun piece...

    So what's this about Gerard Butler.... LOL..


  9. Ha ha! Love the image of God swigging cider!

  10. Loved it! Thanks for stopping by Writing with Debra. Thanks for the compliment on my grandson(don't tell him, he's got a big head as it is.)
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

  11. Interesting entry. I never would have thought of the name Seamus but I think there is a character in the book I've been reading who is named Seamus too. hmmm Good entry for the blogfest.

  12. I think Heaven will be a lot more fun than we expect, and God will have the best sense of humor of all. Some don't believe that -- but just look at those Girafes with their wee little necks! LOL.

    You did a great entry. Thanks for visiting mine, and liking little Hibbs encounter with a leprechaun. Roland

  13. Great story! I love how they're all just hanging out with each other :)

    Thanks for participating!

  14. I've never been to Ireland but I felt I was there for the few moments it took me to read this--thanks!!

  15. I love reading all the different perspectives on this theme. I thought this was wonderful!

  16. I've read this three times - twice out loud. I just love the dialogue. Love love love. This was excellent - so much fun to read (to myself as well as outloud!).

  17. Oh that last line!! ha ha!!!

    I love this kind of stuff. The idea of all these holy folk sitting around having a drink and talking about us! Good job. :D

  18. This is wonderful! I laughed all the way through it. Fabulous take on the blog fest! Thanks so much for your comments on my story. I really appreciate them. Sorry it took me so long to make it over :D

    Have a great week!

  19. I just found it interesting that The Lord God has an Irish accent... :) A great entry! Thanks for stopping by to check mine out, too!

  20. Wonderful, Susan! My Irish brogue is terrible, so I can"t enjoy the accent in your story.. Your piece is truly Irish through and through.


Go won' t hurt...I'd love to hear what you think!