Saturday, January 26, 2019

Apocalyptic Survival Kit



image.jpeg
Moving Hell
Will it never stop?



Finding another box to unpack has become routine in this house; then there is a moment of discovery and/or disappointment.  With big sighs or sadness, the box is either unpacked or closed up to be pitched out.  When will  this stop, I ask.  When. Will. This. Stop?

“Ah-Ah.”

This was one of the many strange boxes, hidden in garage rafters, where dust and mites had settled.  Movers followed blind orders and brought this one to here. On the lid were words written in our son’s peculiar handwriting, with his peculiar humor.

“If Zombies or commies or Red Chinese attack or Christmas 2013: Break the seals and open.  Open and prepare your body for Thunder Dome (That is probably the new law).”

I did open the lid, but all the warnings did not come to fruition. Written upside down (for the unfortunate opener) were directions:

(on one side) “These are for laundry, tourniquets, and needless hangings” with an arrow pointing down.

(next side) “Done cleaning? Make your broom do double duty to kill zombies.” Arrow pointing down.

(Last side) “ Instrumental video

Strangely, contents of the box were missing only the broom, but included two binoculars.  But it did include some awesome knives, which were apparently a present for his father that Christmas.  

Our son has grown to have a successful life and career, but has maintained his peculiar sense of humor. 

This is a re-post of April 2016 when we were moving stuff accumulated for 27 years.  We are still finding boxes because we got tired of all the destruction and mayhem.

Our son is an excellent writer. Who knows? Maybe someday he will create boxes such as this one and sell them on eBay.

34 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. No, an earthquake survival kit would be far more useful, but who knows? Zombies after earthquake?

      Delete
  2. That is so clever! We've pretty well purged unnecessary household items, but that would be a great prank to pull on one's future executor. Comic relief after the fact!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Unfortunately or fortunately, we did have boxes but not for that long storage. Still we did not run into any excitement with the boxes. I do love the son's sense of humor and also the long time planning. neat.
    But we still have many boxes in the house my sister left, a job put off until the coming spring... Ahhh the purge that is coming.
    love the entry,
    Sherry & jack (new guys on the block)

    ps: Methinks son inherited some traits from mama! ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, he and I are a lot alike when it comes to off-kilter humor. Not everyone expects it.

      Happy unpacking. Depending how old those boxes are makes the unpacking interesting.

      Delete
  4. A peculiar sense of humour is a great gift!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes. It is a great gift. He is a bit more serious now that he is a husband and father.

      Delete
  5. Hey, no fruitcake?? Even with zombies, one has to eat.

    ReplyDelete
  6. There are boxes in our garage which haven't been opened in twenty years. We haven't needed whatever they hold (or have replaced it). I say pitch them. Himself refuses...

    ReplyDelete
  7. A Christmas present? Better late than never, I guess.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Husband remembers receiving and opening it, but that is about it. Sigh. He remembers any thing to do with science and math, but that's about it.

      Delete
  8. He has a delightful sense of humor. He sounds like a person I would enjoy knowing.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I don't know that I wouldn't have opted for "pitch w/o opening" with those warnings...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We felt pretty safe from zombies. Thunder Dome is another matter.

      Delete
  10. Heeheehee! That's great, he did a fabulous job of preparing for the worst and making us laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I looked at that picture and thought of stuff that's now accumulating in my garage. Some of it isn't mine but belongs to a daughter and once she removes it, I'll get in there and toss out a lot of my stuff. There's every chance I may never move again, so I won't be needing all the things that are there because they don't fit inside here.
    Your son is funny :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We had boxes of our adult children's stuff left over from their teenage lives. Man. This was view of the other side we didn't know.

      Delete
  12. Hi Susan - what fun to find ... even if it didn't quite match up. Great that your son has that creative mind and I'm sure he'll utilise it ... he needs to - while I hope you're writing your memoirs ... cheers Hilary

    ReplyDelete
  13. haha well just maybe you'll need that broom

    ReplyDelete
  14. I love finding things like that. How fun!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I found a box of drawings and stuff our offspring had done in elementary school. Sweet memories.

      Delete
  15. I have a feeling he might have a future. Maybe not as a survival kit creator but at least as a comedy writer!

    ReplyDelete
  16. We all have such boxes in the garage, I guess.

    God bless.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I suggest we make sure we wouldn't mind if sometime down the road, an heir opens it.

      Delete
  17. Oh, those boxes from moving. I love your son’s humor; may it never be consumed by life as he ages.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, that is a fear of mine.

      Good to meet you!

      Delete

Go ahead...it won' t hurt...I'd love to hear what you think!