Monday, September 14, 2015

Timeless Advice

DSC 3283
I can do this...


The following is some advice that all should follow to make lives easier.


    Read the directions first.

    Follow the directions.

Now this is the hard part.  No matter how many times one has assembled an IKEA product, no one is an expert.  No one can open an IKEA box, look at the parts, screws, and that one lonely Allen wrench…  And say, heck, I can do this.  Then toss the directions (unread) aside, to proceed.

The pieces of a furniture kit
...I know I can do this!


    Take the IKEA whatever apart, and then really read the directions.  Hopefully, this whole process has gone unobserved. Hopefully, no screws have gone missing.

Here is another bit of advice:

source
 Set the timer.  
It does not matter what is being done.  If the directions say: Set the timer for 15 minutes to allow the glue to set.

This is also a hard part, as most assume that surely it was meant to say 45 minutes.  When maybe an hour has passed and the project is finally checked, no profanity should be allowed.  It is your own damn fault.  Call the 1-800 number to see what can be done to un-stick the glue.

      Set the timer.  If the cake directions say 35 minutes at 350°, then do it.  Do it.  Taking a burnt dry cake, covered with thick icing, to a family function will not disguise this error.

    Set the timer.  If the hose has been turned on to add water to the pool, set the timer.  When 45 minutes should do it, and then forgetfully, let it go for an hour and a half, water will flow out onto the concrete, etc.  This, too, cannot be disguised.

      Set the timer.  If a soccer-playing child is supposed to be picked up at 4 pm and 5 pm rolls around, then is instead brought home by a friend who thinks that parent is...well is, embarrassment is inevitable.  The child will also tell his other parent.

      Read the directions first, again.

New windshield wipers vary from car makes and years. Those wipers cost upwards of $40.  Don’t take the chance.

     Follow the directions, again.

    Write important stuff on an honest-to-God paper calendar. Smart phones are not always that smart and tend to need re-charging at bad moments.

OH, this list could go on and on.  It is suggested that one add to this list on their own, and then

Follow the directions.




34 comments:

  1. What about the directions that come with a TV or something? I can chuck those and still make it work haha as long as I know where the plug goes. And never late at my sea.

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    1. When we bought our first VCR back in the 80s., we had to read the directions many times. And we were young, literate, college graduates!

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    2. My daughter K glances at directions for TV and DVD players for maybe two seconds, tosses them aside then sits there pushing buttons, plugging in wires etc until everything works perfectly. She sets me up every time so I don't even need the TV remote. Everything is accessed via the DVD player.

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    3. Kids these days! My 10 year old gr-daughter helped me understand my cell phone...showed me how to use it.

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  2. I chuckled all the way through that.
    I do keep a physical calendar for my blog stuff but admit I really on my iPad and iPhone to be my brain sometimes.
    When trying to find someplace new, follow the directions. You don't want to waste gas driving around a bad part of town.

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    1. We were looking for a BBQ place in a city 90 mi. away. Printed up the directions. We were sent to a crematorium instead. Next time, we'll do...

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  3. Directions make things go faster the first time

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    1. I tell this to my husband every single time, and he simply makes that sound that says: Leave me alone, I know what I'm doing...
      Then it ends up with me reading them aloud as he finds the screws, etc.

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  4. The older you get the more important it is to WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN. . EVERYTHING!!!
    Do NOT trust your memory because it will let you down every time. Yes, that is experience talking..nay...shouting.

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  5. My dad taught me this from when I was young. Read the directions! If you don't understand them, read them until you do! One time in high school a teacher gave us a test and one section was true and false, but her directions were specific. She wanted to see who was actually READING the directions. She asked us to write something Okay for true and Bongo for false. Most of the class got that section wrong. But I READ THE DIRECTIONS, just like my dad had taught me.

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  6. I will set my timer to re-read this everyday to remind myself to set my timer.

    IKEA products are an adventure that should not be tried by the faint of heart or the slow in comprehension.

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    1. ...I will set my timer so I can re-re-read the comments. IKEA comes from a literate country which has created an empire based on that one single Allen wrench.

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  7. Even if the directions are written in Spanglish. Read them. As many times as is necessary.

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  8. The baby in the side of the pic made me smile. So sweet!

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    1. I WONDERED if anyone would see that little one in the walker. Dad must have had baby watching duty.

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  9. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  10. As long as the directions have pictures. If they're written out, I can't decipher them. But a good diagram will get me there in no time.

    I learned the timer thing when it comes to boiling eggs. I have a tendency to forget they're on the stove otherwise.

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    1. I am a diagram person as well.
      Timers are invaluable, if only all in my house would learn that.

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  11. I follow directions for all things Ikea, but not always for other things. Recipes for instance. I'll follow directions the first time, then if it's possible I'll tweak things to make it simpler, faster, better. A lot or results depend on your oven anyway. Then there's sewing, the directions say iron seams flat each time you sew one, I skip that step a lot of the time. Well, I used to when I sewed.

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    1. Finally, in my sewing days, I have learned to cut seam exact, press the seams, etc. Took much frustration, though.

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  12. My husband is one who can put things together by looking at the thing and its parts, not directions. This has spoiled me. Setting the timer-- good advice!

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    1. Your husband is gifted...hang onto him.

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  13. Ha, our posts really do go hand-in-hand. And you're right, if you don't follow those directions, you're starting over, and that's just time wasted, not time saved. :)

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    1. I have ripped out so many seams, started over, only to make the same mistakes. With IKEA, my husband doesn't, well, read OR follow the directions.

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  14. Hi human, Susan,

    I set the timer just before I started to comment. Of course, timer or not, the instructions are usually wrong and parts are missing. Arf.

    Pawesome advice, my nice human friend.

    Pawsitive wishes and doggy kisses,

    Penny xx

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    Replies
    1. One can always hire someone to assemble furniture for a dozen cupcakes.

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  15. Yes I had a good giggle at this post, Susan :D The men in my household often try to do things without instructions and you can see the results still!! When will they ever learn? Maybe I should get a timer and my cooking might turn out better is another thought that has now crossed my mind reading this? Thanks for the great advice :)

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    1. Glad to oblige! We all need reminders now and then.

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Go ahead...it won' t hurt...I'd love to hear what you think!