Monday, September 15, 2014

Ashes to ashes

Crocus with fisheye: Bunch of crocus photographed using a fish eye lens
source: rgbstock.com




Deborah answered her phone and recognized the nurse from the care facility.  Your father has died.  No surprise…it had been a long time coming, with a devastating illness that took his mind away..


Deborah flew in from San Francisco, arriving in time for graveside service where ashes-to-ashes, appointed time of three score and ten, verses were recited.  Then taps were played, flag was folded by Veteran of the Foreign War members, and presented to a relative Deborah did not know.

Deborah sat in a rented car and waited until everyone had done their jobs and disappeared before she could return to the grave site. 

Deborah knelt at her mother’s grave and wept.  How she had loved her mother…how her mother had loved her.  she pulled away some large bouquets from her father’s grave, overflowing with blooms.  Tenderly, she placed the flowers at Mom’s grave.

Then Deborah stood at the new grave, covered with accolades and flowers.  She whispered, “I loved you so! I did everything I was supposed to do.  I honored and obeyed you, I respected and tried to please you. Even when you were old and I was middle years, you still tried to control me, hurt me with your words.

Another pause.  “You broke my heart.”

Deborah returned to the rental car, thinking where she should go next.

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26 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Forgiveness must happen or the person is scarred permanently.

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  2. So sad. And a long time to carry that bitterness.

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  3. Such sadness here...extending even to after his death...

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    Replies
    1. The strong cord of extension needs to be cut, or else Deborah will never move on.

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  4. Not something that is easy to forgive indeed.

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    Replies
    1. Forgiveness is something one does daily when hurt so deeply.

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  5. Eventually forgiveness happens but we never forget and are eternally damaged.

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    Replies
    1. If only we all had a "delete" button for those memories.

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  6. Where should she go next? On to a new beginning.

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    Replies
    1. Deborah must move onto a fresh start, or she will be locked in this pain forever.

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  7. Oh Susan. Powerful, beautiful, painful. This is hurting my heart this morning with its familiarity.

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    Replies
    1. I wonder if many readers have this pain in their hearts?

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  8. You cut right down to the bone.

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  9. Replies
    1. Being stuck in the past is debilitating.

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  10. very sad. An apt ending to this story, but, yes, where will she go next?

    Lee
    Tossing It Out

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  11. So sad when all an adult child remembers is how they were never good enough."you broke my heart"
    Sweet that Deborah put some of the flowers on her mum's grave.

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    Replies
    1. It hurts forever. Deborah must move on, or she will still be in the pain part of her life.

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  12. One door closes, leaving room for another to open. Still my heart goes out to her.

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    Replies
    1. The questions left unanswered will hang in her mind, I hope she does allow the other door to open.

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  13. Control doesn't come easy when someone lives far away.

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    Replies
    1. Just the memories of the control linger.

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Go ahead...it won' t hurt...I'd love to hear what you think!