Setting: New York City on a muggy June day
Characters: Two naïve parents from out-of-state with their much-wiser 30something son
Plot: Keep your eyes straight ahead; don’t make eye contact
It was a day like any other on the streets in Manhattan. A tide of humanity streamed both directions, trying to avoid collisions. Blank eyes on blank faces flowed in multi-colors. The rules were simple: don’t make eye contact and don’t react to anything you might see/smell/hear. Keep moving, nothing to see here.
It was after such a day that the two simpleton parents from Podunk-ville returned to the Hotel Pennsylvania. Defeat dogged their steps and their son’s lecture rang in their ears: Keep moving….
|Wikipedia, God bless 'em!|
Macy’s was ever-so-close, and at least there they would feel some freedom to look at the merchandise and express emotion.
The ancient escalator from “Miracle on 34th Street” took them from one floor to the next. As they started to relax, some teenagers got ahead of them on the few steps up.
The naïve mother found her eyes at butt level with a teenage boy. Facing his drooping jeans, she read the label on his boxers, which were perilously close to being dragged down by the weight of the jeans. Oh, God, oh, God…should I yank them the rest of the way?...
|Source: The Grio by Anthony Calypso|
Keep your eyes straight ahead…but what about “…making butt contact”…? He/the brilliant son never said anything about that…
The sagging pants phenomena has always bewildered me. Go to the listed source for answers, if you have also found yourself staring at boxers in the face. This site was very good, well written.