Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Shopping for the Dress

As we last left "Father Daughter Dance", Lisa and Mommy were locked in a battle of the dresses….

I was there, witnessing the whole thing.  Being Grandma, I had this same battle with the Mommy years ago, and knew how this would all go down.  Whoever holds the credit card wins the battle.  But it won’t be easy.

Ruched Print Dress w/Tutu Skirt (7-16)
From this site!
As Lisa sobbed about the discarded hooker dresses, I picked one up and examined it.  The seams were already splitting, the threads were ragged, and one washing would rip this sad excuse for a dress apart. 

In the end, Mommy and Lisa took home a beautiful yellow eyelet dress tied with a spring green ribbon and a daisy, perfect for a Father-Daughter Dance.

Soutache Floral Dress with Eyelet Hem
Not the actual dress, but close enough
What bothered me about the whole dress saga was how girls are being bombarded with the image of sexy dresses as the acceptable fashion wear for under-teens

This development stage of giggling little girls is being ripped away from my grandchild.  Who she is and what she will be--all is being undermined by current societal standards.

She is being told that her value is in how she measures up to other females.  Her value is how she fits in with today’s market.  

Her value increases when she displays her 'goods', before there are any goods to display.

Females everywhere:  You are more precious than any jewel or gem.  
Who you are cannot be decided by the time you are 18 and eager to take on the world.  
Hold yourself tightly;\! 
Understand your personal value comes from within, not from the world. 
God created you and has a plan for your life.  
You are precious.

Dancing with your daddy in your pretty yellow dress is more important than one can ever know. 


  1. Very true, all the bombardment of ads creating such a view is stupid

  2. Well said. Don't be in such a rush to toss off the greatest gift to mankind..childhood.

  3. Yeah now a days especially its all about meeting a image set by idiots wanting to sell crap

  4. Childhood has certainly changed in the past few decades. The time of innocence is very short but real maturity and responsibility seem not to come as quickly.

  5. Swimming against the tide! Surrounded by the rush of girls (and their mothers) who believe the lie being sold. I applaud your daughter and the mother who raised her.

  6. You wrote a beautiful story, the old fashion way it used to be. I'm afraid that's all gone unless the parents have some of the old values. The gov't just passed the law of 15 yr olds being able to buy sex paraphernalia without parents. I don't know if abortion was included but I know they are taking about that too. I'm totally against it but then I just realized that both my Grandmothers were 16 when married and that lasted until they died. I think the answer might be that long ago the young girls were more mature then they seem to be now. Now it is all about sex, not maturity. Oh, I don't know, the more I think about it, the less, I know. LOL

  7. Dear Susan, your two-part story seemed poignant to me. Like you, I believe our culture is undermining childhood. And like Manzanita, I think that nowadays, girls and boys too are caught up not with maturing but with becoming sexy. Everything--nearly all the commercials we see on television and the movies we view in theaters and the clothes and the magazines we read stress being sexy and "blue" jokes as if that's all there is to being human.

    I so agree with what you wrote to all your young readers. We must help them resist being defined by sexiness. Peace.

  8. Well said, my friend. I remember when my grandmother was visiting from KS. My baby sister 10. I had a baby girl and we were going to go to Olan Mills for a 4-generation picture. When my sister came down the steps wearing make-up (which I thought inappropriate for her age) and a black flared-out mini skirt and scoop-neck top, my grandma said to my mother, "You're not going to let her
    go looking like a street walker, are you?"

    I can't begin to describe the tears, the yelling, the
    nastiness that ensued. My mom kicked Granny out to the car, my sister ran to her room, the baby came unglued, and I was a hot mess. We never did get our picture taken. I was sorry my mom hadn't taken a stand on the dress (she was permissive by the time we were grown, so lil sis was raised differently) . But even more sorry that Granny opened her big mouth and that my mom didn't diffuse the situation. If I'd been more courageous, I would've just suggested my sister take the makeup off.

    Your post took me right back to that moment in 1989 like it was yesterday. I am more prudish than my mom, and oh-so-thankful I have a boy, not a girl, to bsttle with in these preteen years!

  9. I read these posts with a mixture of sadness and amazement. And yes, young girls, more than boys, are being consumerized — treated as commodities. Such an undervaluing of womens' lives!

    Blessings and Bear hugs!
    Bears Noting
    Life in the Urban Forest (poetry)

  10. oh yes!!!! we preach this to our boys and girls! and it is a constant battle againt a secular society where girls especially are objectified..they even promote it in school! today my 8th grade son told me they learned in health class that teenage girls should all be on the pill because it will make their face prettier by not having acne.

  11. It's so very sad, isn't it? Not to say this is new. I distinctly remember mini skirts, including fake leather ones, being in when I was in elementary school. It's certainly not getting better, though.

    Shannon at The Warrior Muse

  12. The make-up and the barely there clothing can be reclaimed (?!) later - childhood cannot. And I am so very grateful that my incredibly strict (or so I thought) parents gave me a childhood. Where part of me still lives.


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