Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Breasts? Really?

Solomon's Rose Royalty Free Stock Image - Image: 7708606
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Nancy’s clutched the Bible and stared at the verses she was to read aloud.  Song of Solomon 7:7 and Song of Solomon 8:1-----Seriously?  I am supposed to read THAT aloud??

Nancy whispered to Sister Opal, “Would you trade verses with me?  I would really appreciate it.”

She must have sounded too desperate, for Sister Opal turned her down flat, holding onto her Psalms 42: 1, 2 tightly. 

Preacher began calling on the verses to be read.  

'What'll I do...what'll I do?  I can't say those words.'  Her mind raced.  'Should I go to the bathroom?  Throw up here in the Sanctuary....'  The answer came from something her Speech and Debate teacher told her.  So she did exactly that.

Nancy’s turn came.  She stood tall, pulled her shoulders back and tilted her chin up. Clearing her throat, while making eye contact with the expectant faces turned to see her, Nancy spoke in a clear and loud voice, pausing at the commas.  She emphasized the important nouns, and let her voice reach to all. Just as she had been coached during Speech Contests.

“Song of Solomon 7:7, This thy stature is like to a palm tree, and thy breasts to clusters of grapes…chapter 8:8,  O that thou wert as my brother, that sucked the breast of my mother…”

Grapes Royalty Free Stock Photos - Image: 14986778
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Silence fell across the small sanctuary, then some snickers erupted and throats cleared.  Flustered, Preacher looked at Nancy and then down at his list.  “Let’s move on, shall we?” 

Sister Opal leaned over and whispered to Nancy, “There are some verses that shouldn’t oughta be in the Bible.  That there is some of ‘em.”

27 comments:

  1. Loved this - my feelings when taking morning prayer and had to read from that book. :0)

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  2. Well preacher should have been a little more careful in choosing don't you think? Good on her to just leave herself out of it and read.

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    1. The preacher mis-wrote the chapter and verse #. He was more embarrassed than any there.

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  3. The preacher got more than he bargained for

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    1. Oh, yes. He blushed exceptionally well.

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  4. Replies
    1. Sometimes one has to rise above the circumstances.

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  5. Let it fly, no matter how flirty haha

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    1. In the Midwest, saying the word "breasts" and "suck" together was almost pornography.

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  6. HeeHee! Nancy is more courageous than me! She's my new hero . . .

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    Replies
    1. Anyone that can rope a steer is mine! I love your blogs!

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  7. I could just see her turn bright red as she read it! Glad she survived!

    Julie

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    1. Survival is all that matters in those teen years, in the Midwest, with three brothers.

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  8. Even in church you can end up embarrassed, LOL!

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  9. Dear Susan, I laughed out loud. Nancy's dilemma reminded me of the time I was giving a speech in front of my seventh grade class and the boys made fun and I started to pee and finally stood in a puddle at the front of the room. I posted about this a few weeks ago. I always smile when I remember that day, but at the time, I was so embarrassed! Peace.

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  10. Perhaps the preacher will be more careful next time. And I love Nancy's courageous solution. Thank you for bringing her to us.

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    1. Maybe next time, the preacher would try to keep things simple?

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  11. The Bible is about life; it contains life stories. This is one of them.

    And why not?

    Blessings and Bear hugs!
    Bears Noting
    Life in the Urban Forest (poetry)

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    1. The Bible is rich in life stories! And, a life with the Bible is enriched indeed.

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  12. Hi Susan - Glad I found you and your wonderful blog(s). I've just subbed to you and look forward to many visits and many chats.

    I also just read the lovely comment you left for me over at Val's blog, regarding my kitchen plaques and craft work. I'm chuffed that you like my work - it made my day. Just wanted to let you know that yes, I do indeed ship worldwide. If you want to chat with me off-blog, I'd love to hear from you.

    Slan go foill from a very blustery (and cold) Co. Sligo - June (celticmooncraft.com)

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    1. Your blog site is awesome! I will be looking to order from you.

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  13. Hi Susan! Ahhh...thanks very much for checking out my blog. It's been a while since I've posted there, I realise - but it's because I've been so busy with craft fairs, selling at the farmers' market, and commissioned orders that I've not had as much free time as I'd like to get a blog post out Hopefully though, I will be posting something there soon.

    In the meantime, thank you so much for all your kind words about my plaques. I do take commissions from anywhere in the world, so that's not a problem. Whenever you're ready and would like me to do a plaque (or a cross or a mandala), just let me know.

    Thanks again! I really appreciate your praise and overall good vibes.

    June

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Go ahead...it won' t hurt...I'd love to hear what you think!