|Source: Church Picnic|
Tension in the church was high, after the two failed engagement attempts involving Florence and Winthrop. One side of the aisle believed Winthrop should just drop theatrics and give her the damn ring. The other side of the aisle believed that Winthrop was correct in wanting Florence to have a special engagement day.
After the boating incident, Winthrop was unsure that Florence would accept him or his ring. After a few tentative meetings, Florence assured Win that her love for him was even greater. They mutually agreed that the engagement should take place at the coming church picnic.
After church, all the congregants headed out to the church’s lawn, where picnic tables were already laden with every casserole, Jello salad, fried chicken, potato salad, and dessert famous in the church ladies’ repertoire. Beneath the towering trees, Brother Henry spoke the grace, and people dived in with plates and forks.
Winthrop and Florence nervously hung back, unable to eat. They had decided to wait until people had wolfed down the last stewed chicken and egg noodles, cleaned out the pies, and were leaning back in lawn chairs to digest the feast.
Nervously and casually, they walked to a clearing near the pie section. Winthrop spoke loudly. “Oh, Florence! I have loved you since first grade! Would you do me the honor of….”
As Winthrop spoke of his love, the back row of chairs was thrown aside. A group of congregants ran back to the church, all of them clutching their ample stomachs.
Florence glowed as she gazed into Win’s eyes. “Oh, Winthrop! I, too, have loved you since first grade. Yes! Yes! I will marry…”
Another group of congregants tossed aside their lawn chairs. They ran with great haste to the church, but some made side stops to vomit in the church hydrangea bushes.
Unaware of the chaos of food poisoning, Winthrop placed the diamond ring on Florence’s finger. Kissing each other passionately, Win and Flo stood alone in a sea of abandoned lawn chairs and playing children.