Sunday, March 13, 2011

The Broken Heart(s)



Broken Heart(s
I was alone when I lost the baby. 
I didn’t know for sure that I was pregnant, although I had purchased two home pregnancy testing kits.  The first one said “NO”.
 I was saving the second test for another week.  Back then those tests were not as refined, as precise.
But, I was alone.  My husband and two children were visiting his brother and family.  There was to be a ham dinner, and we were there when I became sick with what I thought was the flu. 
John brought me home, left me there, and went back to his brother’s house.  I didn’t see any need for him to stay home with me.
I had stretched out on the sofa, with a ‘throw-up’ bowl just in case.  The cramps in my abdomen would come and go. 
I know what you’re thinking: why didn’t I recognize the cramps as contractions. 
Both of my children had been delivered by C-section.
After a few hours, I was in such pain, and headed to the bathroom.
You know what came next.  Male or female, no descriptions need to be given.
After all was done, I crept into my bed with a heating pad to home against my empty womb.
I was two minds about the miscarriage.  I started mourning for the baby I would never get to hold.  Yet, I was also glad I wasn’t pregnant, because my son was only 10 months old.
Most of all, I was broken hearted.
I curled up in a ball with the heating pad and a box of tissues.
I started crying. 
Susan Kane



11 comments:

  1. Sad, but honest. Thanks for sharing. Hope you can help others with your story, because it's horrible to have to go through that.

    ReplyDelete
  2. How sad. It's so brutally honest and open, a beautiful piece.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This has to be a heart-wrenching experience.

    Lee
    Tossing It Out

    ReplyDelete
  4. So beautifully tender. Raw emotion and great writing.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Very well written. I couldn't pull my eyes from your words, even for a moment.

    ReplyDelete
  6. A terribly sad, and beautifully written story. You deserve an award, and it's on my blog waiting for you.

    ReplyDelete
  7. This is a very sad entry indeed. Definitely a broken heart is involved. The structure looks more like a poem to me but it's not a bad thing with this one. It's a poetic sad story of early loss. Well done and thank you for entering this in my blogfest.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Many thanks to all of you! I have never written about that painful event in my life; in fact, I have scarcely talked about it. I considered writing it as a free-form poem, but decided that the precise statements with the simple language would have more impact.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I am so sorry. Having lost two by miscarriage, I understand.

    ReplyDelete
  10. This touches way to close to home for me as I went through that twice. Once with twins. It is horrible on the body but the mind and heart have a hard time healing. I feel your pain here.

    ReplyDelete

Go ahead...it won' t hurt...I'd love to hear what you think!